Depression Recovery

Question:

Hi Tom, I kind of know what you are going through – I was in sales too, and I think my  dad’s death really triggered the killer episode of depression that got me to a  pdoc. I am 39, and have expereinced depression since teh age of 10, along with  months of hypomania scattered in between. Corporate America is not ready for the 20th cnetury in terms of mnetal health  care. Sounds like you have been really nailed.  What a shame.  Keep fighting,  and hang in there.  There are many wonderful resources out there to help you. Wow, 4500 mg Depakote sounds pretty high. I take 1000 – even 1500mg made me  very foggy and sleepy all day. Hope you are feeling better, and things start to get better. Cathy

Response:

>x-no-archive: yes >Ian, are you listening in on this thread? If so — as a lawyer, what else >would you recommend to Tom?

I just started following this group again=—sorry. james’s advice hits the nail on the head–I’d make him my paralegal to explain the law to you–seriously. You need a lawyer, absolutely–if only in regard to proper SSD $–but I think you have a great wrongful termination suit–depending on who your judge or arbitor is, which basically means where you live.  In NY, you’d be golden, in Kansas, they might tell you to piss off Ian Schneider, Esq.

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>x-no-archive: yes

Tom, I know exactly where you are coming from!!! I was diagnosed in 1989 but  have had problems since early 70’s. I am on Social Security now and I am working on starting my own business  (computer software training). One recommendation for us BP’s is to live less  stressfully. Sometimes, working for others won’t allow that to happen.  Therefore, we have to rethink our lives. If I am my own boss, I tell me how  much stress I can handle and don’t go over the line. Please hang in ther. I think we just got my meds right in the last month and  what a difference!! I haven’t felt this calm and peaceful in a long time. Tell you wife (bless her), there is alot of info out there for her to read. It  isn’t easy living with someone who has BP. My husband has been very  supportive. If she loves you, tell he to hang in there. Take care and we are all here if you need us. Email is okay too. Peace, Barb

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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I thought I had got screwed, you get the prize!  Hang in there. >Corporate America is disgusting.  When I admitted to my boss I was >bipolar the next day they started to get rid of me  Luckily, I had >nothing other than myself to worry about (sort of good anyway), and I >had disability insurance, a rarity for Gen Xer’s.  Otherwise, I think I >would have went postal.  Be patient, take your meds, and talk to your >docs as much as you can.  I am afraid the fall out from being bipolar >can be as bad as the disease.  I really feel bad for you.  I hope you >can pull it together, just don’t rush.  Good luck

Response:

>>>x-no-archive: yes

I hereby promise to edit–below, edited for typos only >It took me 7 years to "get" that–I could not agreee more with the >advice above–yet even 2 years ago, I never could have handled it.

ri >Like: it’s ok to feel that you’re a cool person even though your >conversation is not the same as the others.  For the others, it’s >like, look how much they took out of my [paycjeck]

is "paycheck" this week (that used >to be us), and they look at at us like: "*you* took it". >Well, yes I did–me and my family have been ppouring 100’s of 1,000’s >of $’s into the system– >[my family is one m/d out of 14 cousins who >*could* carry it.]

should read: I am the only one out of my 14 cousins that developed manic depression, where all 14 carry the gene. >When I stop feeling ashamed that I need the government to pay for [mt]

"my" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Neurontin, I start to live. >Ian Schneider

Response:

>>x-no-archive: yes >Tom, I know exactly where you are coming from!!! I was diagnosed in 1989 but > have had problems since early 70’s. >I am on Social Security now and I am working on starting my own business > (computer software training). One recommendation for us BP’s is to live less > stressfully. Sometimes, working for others won’t allow that to happen. > Therefore, we have to rethink our lives. If I am my own boss, I tell me how > much stress I can handle and don’t go over the line.

It took me 7 years to "get" that–I could not agreee more with the advice above–yet even 2 years ago, I never could have handled it. Like: it’s ok to feel that you’re a cool person even though your conversation is not the same as the others.  For the others, it’s like, look how much they took out of my paycjeck this week (that used to be us), and they look at at us like: "*you* took it". Well, yes I did–me and my family have been ppouring 100’s of 1,000’s of $’s into the system–my family is one m/d out of 14 cousins who *could* carry it. When I stop feeling ashamed that I need the government to pay for mt Neurontin, I start to live. Ian Schneider >Please hang in ther. I think we just got my meds right in the last month and > what a difference!! I haven’t felt this calm and peaceful in a long time. >Tell you wife (bless her), there is alot of info out there for her to read. It > isn’t easy living with someone who has BP. My husband has been very > supportive. If she loves you, tell he to hang in there. >Take care and we are all here if you need us. Email is okay too. >Peace, Barb

really well said–I rarely chime in like that, but that is just such a great thing to say– IAS

Response:

I personally know someone who had a nervous breakdown while on the job and got workmans comp only because the breakdown happened while he was working. M~

Response:

(Thomas D. Jonell) writes:

(heavily snipped down) >  I’ve had a wonderful career in sales and done very >well (hypomanic salesmen are the best workers .

 my boss was concerned about my lack of team >spirit and my poor atttitude for the last year even though she told me >I was the companies best salesperson.  She gave me the option of be a >team player or three months severance and out.

 it was determined I was BiPolar II and in Clinical Depression at >the time.  I informed my boss and my Human Resources department at my >company and they cut of all direct communication verbaly.  The only >communication was in registered letters written by lawyers.  They >immediately cut off my pay, but continued benifits and car allowance >for months (cut off August 1, 1997) although when my attourney wrote >to them about my status as an enployee…. they wrote back and still >consider me one.  After a few weeks they realized I had two weeks pay >coming that came in the mail.  No pay, no benefits, no car allowance, >no nothing but I’m still an employee….sheesh the new ADA law makes >companies walk a very thin line.

we’ve incurred $2,500 in legal fees so far and have a lot further to go. I’d like to address the legal issues for a moment and maybe save you some legal fees.  I’m a bipolar  employment lawyer who represents *employers* and is well acquainted with the ADA (just yesterday was advising an employer about how to handle an employee with a *physical* disability who had been off work for over a year and whose prognosis for ever returning was unclear). If your employer says you’re still considered an employee, then you are.  Get this in writing, though. You haven’t got the ability to even get to first base on a lawsuit until you have a pdoc who is willing to release you to return to work your regular job with or without reasonable accomodation, and the employer rejects you, or they are stupid enough to actually terminate you (which it sounds like they have *not* done).  The fact that they have cut off pay and benefits is simply a function of the fact you are not working, not evidence you have been wrongfully terminated. Of course if they pay other similarly situated employees who are on extended medical leaves with other medical conditions, but don’t pay you, this might be discrimination. And having been in the midst of many employment lawsuits, I personally would think twice before starting one.  It will drag on for at least a year, probably longer, you will be subjected to a mental examination by a potentially hostile shrink, will spend at least a day in depositions retelling the details of your mental condition and work performance, and all of this will be stressful and not conducive to getting back on your feet and controlling your moods. If you go to trial and win, then you have the stress of an appeal, which can be another year.  As far as attorneys’ contingent fees go, if they really are the best on the plaintiff’s side, in my opinion, they *will* work on contingent basis.  Refusal to do so suggests they don’t see much chance of a big recovery and are just trying to milk you for some easy bucks.  If they were the best, they would see that you haven’t even been terminated and the company is probably doing exactly what the law requires (unless there are facts I am not aware of). Standard lawyer’s disclaimer: this is only a statement of general principles, based on insufficient information to actually constitute legal advice; no lawyer-client relationship is formed by this communication; consult your own attorney for legal advice.  

Response:

<Most everything snipped.> >I am the only one out of my 14 cousins that developed manic >depression, where all 14 carry the gene.

AFAIK there is a suspected genetic link that predisposes a person to develop a BP disorder. However I was unaware that a specific gene had been definitively found. Clearly there is greater statistical probability (on average) of finding a BP condition within familial groups than in the general population. I can think of three possible explanations for this: (1) A common genetic link — this is the most popular theory at present. (2) A not very contagious virus that is spread from family member to     family member — with some having greater resistance to infection     than others. (3) Common environmental factors that increase the probability of     eventually getting BP. Can anyone think of other possible explanations? James

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