Depression Recovery

Question:

It looks like our first dance song will be "Please Forgive Me" by Bryan Adams. Everytime our CD player randomly picks it, we get up and ‘practice’  <grin> Heather (& Mike) 11/30/96

Response:

Jeannie, Ron and I met online in December of 1992, and maintained our relationship solely through the computer and telephone from then until March 1993, we haven’t been apart since.  I put my abusive addicted husband out of the house in June 1993, Ron and I moved into another home together in November 1993, my divorce was final in December 1994, Ron was by my side and proposed to me outside the court room right after the lawyer handed me the final papers, we were married under the eyes of God on January 5, 1996 and will become legally married in the eyes of the State of Michigan on July 27, 1996.  I strongly suggest COMMUNICATION is the biggest key.  There have been some rough times, I have children, one that is mentally handicapped, and he has children, close to my age, with one physically handicapped, but we keep things together.  Arguments never last more than a couple of minutes, immediately followed by massive play and make up time.  Sometimes we stop talking to each other, but it’s only to let emotions come back in check, and no matter what, no matter how bad the attitude, we always put our relationship first and work diligently to remain close and loving. Good Luck and God’s Speed, Stephanie

Response:

[retitled for emphasis] this is very important …. she needs help!

: [sorry if the formatting is off ... I hate cut and paste] : Well I was hoping that things would not come to this ….. :  I’ll give you a little background so you understand where I am in all this: {{  In October of 1994 my husband left me and our son – essentially he deserted us – for another woman. I was devastated to say the least … and as I was already clinically depressed Ihad a serious set back in my recovery. Nevertheless I had to continue because of our 6 year old…. we tried to stay in the same home that we had been in before my ex left but the bills were very high, I was out of work, and child support was not forthcoming…. in June of 1995 we moved to my parents place and are still here. About the same time my ex returned to this province as he had also become very depressed and suicidal … my parents allowed him to come here as he was very ill, and a danger to himself. He said at the time that he wanted to reconcile …. so while he was hospitalized I travelled to where he had moved and spent 3 weeks of hell packing his belongings and selling what I could [mostly to his gf] and bringing it back. While I was gone he had changed his mind so I came back to learn that he had decided to return to her when he was well enough. He did not move back to myhome after his hospital stay …. and 3 months later returned to his gf. I was again deserted :< [[  In the meantime I had signed up for Internet service and in July discovered IRC and the undernet. I found that it was the only place that I could express my pain ... among people who were also clinically depressed. There I became friends with many wonderful people and in August 1995, a wonderful guy began frequenting the channel as well. I have to say that there was no intention on my part to look for anyone else ... I was hurting bad from the separation and the loss of self confidence that often times goes with it.  But I guess you could say that he found me, and as time went on we became very close, and in November I visited him in.  We hit it off wonderfully and we want to marry. [[  The problem appears now .... up until this trip I had not considered filing for a divorce and my ex had said months before that I could not fight him on a divorce cause he would just wait till the proper time and file himself and I could not contest. There was never any discussion up to that point of where our son would stay ... but my new relationship has changed all that. In February I served him with divorce papers and a petition for custody .... sole custody so that I would not have to depend upon my ex for permission to live where I wanted and with who I wanted - espcially as there are international borders to consider. What I thought was a simple matter of going through the motions has turned into a very nasty situation. My ex has decided that not only does he want sole custody but that I am an unfit mother and so a nasty custody battle has begun. Last week 1 day before the initial hearing I was given a affidavit to that effect. At the hearing the judge expressed concerns about the whole matter of my new SO and myself meeting online and whether or not I really know him very well [yes my ex's affidavit cites concerns to that as well] and has ruled that while our son visits his father for 6 weeks this summer I should travel to San Fransisco and learn more about my SO and his city, gather information on him and the job and school situation. Of course I don’t mind doing this But at the same time I have to try and build a case for the validity of relationships that began online. [[ Ah you say she finally gets to the crux of the matter ....  What I am looking for is testimonials, etc. from people who have met online and have also fallen in love ... and who have or intend to marry.  Perhaps a short explanation of how such a thing can be and how you feel about the validity of such a relationship, including some details about yourself and your internet relationship [my lawyer says "and ages"] . I was thinking that I could use these testimonials in my case. Is this too much to ask of people?  I’m not sure so I am throwing it out to the groups to see what you think  thanks  Jeannie : [in hiding just in case my ex is around ] : [anxiously waiting to see if her idea is laughed off the internet] [[ ps:  oh yes and if you know someone else that may be able to help please let me know or forward this letter along -- "A grief without a pang, void, dark, and drear, | A drowsy, stifled, unimpassioned grief,         |      Dennis Taylor Which finds no natural outlet or relief         |    Internet Depression Resources List: http://earth.execpc.com/~corbeau/

Response:

[sorry if the formatting is off ... I hate cut and paste] Well I was hoping that things would not come to this …..         I’ll give you a little background so you understand where I am in all this:         In October of 1994 my husband left me and our son – essentially he deserted us – for another woman. I was devastated to say the least … and as I was already clinically depressed Ihad a serious set back in my recovery. Nevertheless I had to continue because of our 6 year old…. we tried to stay in the same home that we had been in before my ex left but the bills were very high, I was out of work, and child support was not forthcoming…. in June of 1995 we moved to my parents place and are still here. About the same time my ex returned to this province as he had also become very depressed and suicidal … my parents allowed him to come here as he was very ill, and a danger to himself. He said at the time that he wanted to reconcile …. so while he was hospitalized I travelled to where he had moved and spent 3 weeks of hell packing his belongings and selling what I could [mostly to his gf] and bringing it back. While I was gone he had changed his mind so I came back to learn that he had decided to return to her when he was well enough. He did not move back to myhome after his hospital stay …. and 3 months later returned to his gf. I was again deserted         In the meantime I had signed up for Internet service and in July discovered IRC and the undernet. I found that it was the only place that I could express my pain … among people who were also clinically depressed. There I became friends with many wonderful people and in August 1995, a   wonderful guy  began frequenting the channel as well. I have to say that there was no intention on my part to look for anyone else … I was hurting bad from the separation and the loss of self confidence that often times goes with it. But I guess you could say that he found me, and as time went on we became very close, and in November I visited him in.  We hit it off wonderfully and we want to marry.        The problem appears now …. up until this trip I had not considered filing for a divorce and my ex had said months before that I could not fight him on a divorce cause he would just wait till the proper time and file himself and I could not contest. There was never any discussion up to that point of where our son would stay … but my new relationship has changed all that. In February I served him with divorce papers and a petition for custody …. sole custody so that I would not have to depend upon my ex for permission to live where I wanted and with who I wanted – espcially as there are international borders to consider. What I thought was a simple matter of going through the motions has turned into a very nasty situation. My ex has decided that not only does he want sole custody but that I am an unfit mother and so a nasty custody battle has begun. Last week 1 day before the initial hearing I was given a affidavit to that effect. At the hearing the judge expressed concerns about the whole matter of my new SO and myself meeting online and whether or not I really know him very well [yes my ex's affidavit cites concerns to that as well] and has ruled that while our son visits his father for 6 weeks this summer I should travel to San Fransisco and learn more about my SO and his city, gather information on him and the job and school situation. Of course I don’t mind doing this  But at the same time I have to try and build a case for the validity of relationships that began online.         Ah you say she finally gets to the crux of the matter ….        What I am looking for is testimonials, etc. from people who have met online and have also fallen in love … and who have or intend to marry. Perhaps a short explanation of how such a thing can be and how you feel about the validity of such a relationship, including some details about yourself and your internet relationship [my lawyer says "and ages"] . I was thinking that Icould use these testimonials in my case. Is this too much to ask of people? I’m not sure so I am throwing it out to the groups to see what you think thanks Jeannie [in hiding just in case my ex is around ] [anxiously waiting to see if her idea is laughed off the internet] ps: oh yes and if you know someone else that may be able to help please let me know or forward this letter along

Response: