Depression Recovery

Question:

Just getting something off my chest here… Depression is depression no matter what the cause.  I wish some people (okay one person) could be a little more diplomatic when responding to other’s pleas for help.  Quit making it about *you* when someone needs support.  Shit!  You probably know who you are and you’ll probably flame the shit out of me… frankly I don’t care. I tell you what *I* will trade you *MY* diseases (note: plural) for yours!  God if I could deal with the depression alone that would be wonderful…  But I don’t know if I’m gonna die in 5 years or 15 (and not by my own hand). How does that make you feel – me comparing my problems with yours?  It sucks don’t it.  Quit comparing your ultimate misery to everyone elses.  We all have shit to deal with – your shit ain’t any more painful than mine and vice versa.  Grow fucking UP! (please send all flames to dullsville and avoid spewing on the group as I have done) My apologies to everyone else here who didn’t need to see this. leefus x-no-archive in headers — For info about this service, see http://www.twwells.com/anon/ or e-mail:

Response:

>Depression is depression no matter what the cause.  I wish some people >(okay one person) could be a little more diplomatic when responding to >other’s pleas for help.  Quit making it about *you* when someone needs >support.  

Sometimes, I’m a little put off by the responses some people get.  I realize I’m being oversensitive at times, but still…..the response of "get over it" is really not very helpful

Response:

>>Depression is depression no matter what the cause.  I wish some people >(okay one person) could be a little more diplomatic when responding to >other’s pleas for help.  Quit making it about *you* when someone needs >support. =20 >Sometimes, I’m a little put off by the responses some people get.  I = realize >I’m being oversensitive at times, but still…..the response of "get = over it" >is really not very helpful

hmm… you put it in a nutshell much better than my rant did.  and much kinder too.  :) — For info about this service, see http://www.twwells.com/anon/ or e-mail:

Response:

I agree with what you are saying but i don’t think that the way you put it is  going to make that person stop what their doing or go away. Just ignore them. He/she is ultimately in a extreme amount of pain (not that the rest of us aren’t), but they have a different way of dealing with it. They release their pain and anger by attacking those around them – essentially attacking people who are closest to them or people in which they see are threatening. When you are new to pain it is hard to see  that there are others suffering. Try not to bash on these people – as angry as you are (and have every right to be), because they are in just as much pain as us and by doing this we are feeding into their pain and anger. -Tricia – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Just getting something off my chest here… > Depression is depression no matter what the cause.  I wish some people > (okay one person) could be a little more diplomatic when responding to > other’s pleas for help.  Quit making it about *you* when someone needs > support.  Shit!  You probably know who you are and you’ll probably > flame the shit out of me… frankly I don’t care. > I tell you what *I* will trade you *MY* diseases (note: plural) for > yours!  God if I could deal with the depression alone that would be > wonderful…  But I don’t know if I’m gonna die in 5 years or 15 (and > not by my own hand). > How does that make you feel – me comparing my problems with yours?  It > sucks don’t it.  Quit comparing your ultimate misery to everyone > elses.  We all have shit to deal with – your shit ain’t any more > painful than mine and vice versa.  Grow fucking UP! > (please send all flames to dullsville and avoid spewing on the group > as I have done) > My apologies to everyone else here who didn’t need to see this. > leefus > x-no-archive in headers > — > For info about this service, see http://www.twwells.com/anon/ or e-mail:

Response:

alt.support.depression.recovery, Bob Ellis

<snip> >Try not to bash on these people – as angry as you are (and have every = right >to be), because they are in just as much pain as us and by doing this we=  are >feeding into their pain and anger. >-Tricia

Basically Jai said what I would have said in response to your post. but I want to add – I did spoiler the post… Anyone that saw the subject line would know that I was angry and venting.  So… I won’t apologize for "bashing" this person – I don’t think I did "bash" – I was angry with them, I chastised them, and I expressed my feelings for why I was chastising them.  But I didn’t call them names or tell them to leave the group or threaten or anything.  My one mistake (IMO was using the "f" word.  That was just me losing it. Nevertheless… as I said in my response to Tigress… I have my own emotional issues right now too and my response was in part a defensive posture set up by those issues (some to do with this group, some not). I guess I felt like I was talking to my teenager – and I know with my teen sometimes you have to say things pretty strongly to get through to her.  I can’t say "now, sweetie, don’t go hitting yourself because you’re mad at X".  I have to grab her, and struggle with her and say "STOP THAT RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"   (yes, she has learned or been genetically presdisposed to self-injury – both her mom and her biological father have this problem).  So I was playing "mom" to someone I don’t even know.  Right or wrong it’s what I did and I needed to do it for my own peace of mind.  I can only watch the same behavior go on so long before I break.  Now I’ve "broken" and I won’t bring the issue up again with regard to that person. If the behavior continues – in my child I continue to try to stop it. In a virtual world where I don’t really know the person – I only try once.  Then it’s up to them and if they don’t care or learn or listen then that’s their problem and I move on.  But I’m sorry – I can’t stand idly by and watch someone do what was being done.  At least, not on one of my "vocal" days.  :P I do understand what you’re saying and that is why the post was separated from the original thread and spoilered.  Because I was trying to get my anger out without directly attacking someone.  The implications are there and probably most folks know what the heck we’re talking about.  But without actually putting names in the post and calling the person derogatory names, I felt I was just expressing myself.  If I can’t express my anger and pain – then what do I do? Are they the only ones allowed to express their anger and pain negatively because they are somehow weaker than I?  Must I always be "the bigger person"? argh… I’m not arguing with you at all, Trish.  I’m really not.  I *know* that my feelings could very well send someone into a pit and have them spewing vile things at me or at the group because I expressed my dissatisfaction for their approach to someone else. (gee, great weasel-wording huh?).  Again, that’s why it was spoilered and why it was a separate thread.  And that’s why I specifically stated that if someone wanted to flame me that they were free to do so in my email.  I won’t blame them or rag on them.  So bring it on guys… whoever is pissed at me, go for it.  I’m strong.  I’m tough. I can take anything today! <hysterical laughter> BTW – I know a Bob Ellis… you really have me curious …=20 — For info about this service, see http://www.twwells.com/anon/ or e-mail:

Response:

Well put…..and i am always flattered when others quote me:) -Tricia – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > x-no-archive: yes > While I am quoting Trish, my response is meant to go to the entire > group, not Trish in particular, nor Dulls. >I agree with what you are saying but i don’t think that the way you put it >is  going to make that person stop what their doing or go away. > I don’t think Dulls was implying that the person should go away. > Rather, I think what we would all like to see is people interacting in > a more positive way. > To me, that means if one is angry, that they will post to the *group* > and say "I’m angry, I’m depressed!", not to an individual in response > to a plea for support. > Another thing that people should realize is that there is no check and > balance system for asking for support and giving it. If one can’t give > support at all, but needs support often, it is still okay to post > here. It just doesn’t do anyone any good to try drawing attention to > oneself by hurting others. That’s not fair, and it is disrespectful to > the people who come here looking for ways to help "recover" from their > depression. >Try not to bash on these people – as angry as you are (and have every right >to be), because they are in just as much pain as us and by doing this we are >feeding into their pain and anger. > I agree with this in theory, but in practice, it is next to impossible > to do. Sooner or later we all crack and spew. While I may be able to > hold it in today, tomorrow I may not. The same is true for everyone > here. The main thing is we know everyone here is hurting, and the > majority of us don’t go around hurting other people intentionally. > We have dealt with people here who have severe anger and rage issues. > But like any other "recovery" group, the person with those issues has > to take responsibility themselves at some point. It’s okay to say "I’m > angry, this is why, I need support, but I don’t know how to stop doing > this." That’s asking for support. We don’t have simple pat answers for > anyone, and everyone’s case is different. > Love, > Jai > — > For more information about this posting service, contact: > If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page: > http://asarian-host.org/emailform.html

Response:

> Just getting something off my chest here…

hi all, ive been kinda out of it last couple days.. did i miss something here?? sorry…. anna – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Depression is depression no matter what the cause.  I wish some people > (okay one person) could be a little more diplomatic when responding to > other’s pleas for help.  Quit making it about *you* when someone needs > support.  Shit!  You probably know who you are and you’ll probably > flame the shit out of me… frankly I don’t care. > I tell you what *I* will trade you *MY* diseases (note: plural) for > yours!  God if I could deal with the depression alone that would be > wonderful…  But I don’t know if I’m gonna die in 5 years or 15 (and > not by my own hand). > How does that make you feel – me comparing my problems with yours?  It > sucks don’t it.  Quit comparing your ultimate misery to everyone > elses.  We all have shit to deal with – your shit ain’t any more > painful than mine and vice versa.  Grow fucking UP! > (please send all flames to dullsville and avoid spewing on the group > as I have done) > My apologies to everyone else here who didn’t need to see this. > leefus > x-no-archive in headers > — > For info about this service, see http://www.twwells.com/anon/ or e-mail:

– "blessed am i to dwell in this beautiful temple"

Response:

alt.support.depression.recovery, rainbows >=20 > Just getting something off my chest here… >=20 >hi all, >ive been kinda out of it last couple days.. did i miss something here?? >sorry…. >anna

Hi hon. Nothing worth worrying about.  Just me blowing off steam and then people wanting to discuss it.  Someone just got on my last nerve.  It doesn’t happen often but when it happens I can be pretty witchy. thinking of you. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Depression is depression no matter what the cause.  I wish some people > (okay one person) could be a little more diplomatic when responding to > other’s pleas for help.  Quit making it about *you* when someone needs > support.  Shit!  You probably know who you are and you’ll probably > flame the shit out of me… frankly I don’t care. >=20 > I tell you what *I* will trade you *MY* diseases (note: plural) for > yours!  God if I could deal with the depression alone that would be > wonderful…  But I don’t know if I’m gonna die in 5 years or 15 (and > not by my own hand). >=20 > How does that make you feel – me comparing my problems with yours?  It > sucks don’t it.  Quit comparing your ultimate misery to everyone > elses.  We all have shit to deal with – your shit ain’t any more > painful than mine and vice versa.  Grow fucking UP! >=20 > (please send all flames to dullsville and avoid spewing on the group > as I have done) >=20 > My apologies to everyone else here who didn’t need to see this. > leefus >=20 > x-no-archive in headers >=20 > — > For info about this service, see http://www.twwells.com/anon/ or = e-mail:

– For info about this service, see http://www.twwells.com/anon/ or e-mail:

Response: