Depression Recovery

Question:

I don’t know why I have at times the urge to self mutilate, or why I have done it before. I feel sometimes it a way to attract attention, sometimes I think its deep rooted anger that hasn’t been dealt with as much as it should be. But jsut the act of doing it is, excuse me, CRAZY! Why,why,why..does anyone have an objective answer?

Response:

>I don’t know why I have at times the urge to self mutilate, or why I >have done it before. I feel sometimes it a way to attract attention, >sometimes I think its deep rooted anger that hasn’t been dealt with as >much as it should be.

 Yes and  by inflicting physical pain on ourselves we can momentarily stop feeling the emotional pain that we carry with us.

Response:

to stop the other pain, divert our attention….? i do it as punishment….i do something "bad"….cut…that’ll teach me…never does though….ho hum. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I don’t know why I have at times the urge to self mutilate, or why I >have done it before. I feel sometimes it a way to attract attention, >sometimes I think its deep rooted anger that hasn’t been dealt with as >much as it should be. But jsut the act of doing it is, excuse me, CRAZY! >Why,why,why..does anyone have an objective answer?

Response:

I would add… Cutting (or in my case, bruising) very likely releases endorphins (just as all pain does). =20 I feel a distinct sense of calm and almost trance-like sensation after I bruise myself, much like I do when I take vicodin for my other pains.  I truly believe that this release is part of our ultimate goal, that it is wrapped up in the feeling of having "punished ourselves" for being terrible people we think we are and further tied into the feeling of expressing the internal pain externally. When rats are given a choice between food and electrical stimulation of the area of the brain that induces endorphin release in an orgasmic fashion, they will literally OD on the brain stimulation (or as my Neuro prof said "f* themselves to death".  They would rather feel that flow of "well-being" (whatever that means for a rat) than eat.=20 I think we become addicted to self-harm for the same basic reason.  We may start because of the pain inside and the self-hatred… but we will develop urges to do so even when not necessarily depressed, because we want that "high" – though it may be undetectable to us superficially. my more than .02 oh… Hi Cactus! you won’t remember me… but I remember you.. in fact, no one here remembers me… heh heh… >to stop the other pain, divert our attention….? >i do it as punishment….i do something "bad"….cut…that’ll teach >me…never does though….ho hum. >I don’t know why I have at times the urge to self mutilate, or why I >have done it before. I feel sometimes it a way to attract attention, >sometimes I think its deep rooted anger that hasn’t been dealt with as >much as it should be. But jsut the act of doing it is, excuse me, = CRAZY! >Why,why,why..does anyone have an objective answer?

– For more information about this service, send e-mail to:

Response:

i cut because it gets me out of the emotional roller coaster i am in at that moment into a calmer state.  i can release the pain, anger and sorrow in this way and it brings about the numbness i come to need in my life.  i want to stay numb forever.  course now it is not possible so i have become a cutter again. dates back to my teenage years when i self-mutilated my arm making drawings, btw—-i never want the attention.  i try to hide my cuts then i get mad and say ‘to hell with it’ and let them show.   when i painted the picture several weeks ago on my wall in my own blood—-then i wanted the attention and understood that.  i painted this design on the wall

Response: