Depression Recovery

Question:

Linda C.  I thought the guy was only a room-mate, not a potential lover. If i missed that, then you are correct.  I just hated for her to be de-stabilised if not for a very real need to know–

Response:

No problem Iny.  I understand that. L – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Linda C.  I thought the guy was only a room-mate, not a potential lover. >If i missed that, then you are correct.  I just hated for her to be >de-stabilised if not for a very real need to know–

Response:

>Linda C.  I thought the guy was only a room-mate, not a potential lover. >If i missed that, then you are correct.  I just hated for her to be >de-stabilised if not for a very real need to know–

It’s difficult to be in that position, I once fell in love with a roommate who of all things was bipolar, I was at the time undiagnosed, but there were problems from the start and it led to a ugly breakup. Web Page at: www.robertpo.com For email replies remove the ****

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I am trying to think of real life experiences that, imagined by normies, > might get them closer to understanding what BP is like to experience. > Suggestions have been along the lines of "put your screwdriver in an > electrical socket ( and try to read a technical book afterward)", > "contrast the feeling of being REALLY stoned and being Really on top of > it–and think that is the differnce between being on meds–meds making > you closer to normal", etc, ie, it takes THAT MUCH to settle a mixed > state down. > Heres my situation: > My housemate and I have beecome intimate freinds.  His concept of > relationship (no capital R there, note) sustains the notion that if one > does not share experiences that one is not invested in the relationship. > IE, if I cope by minimizing stimulus and going to my room when I"m in a > BP rage, he sees it as hiding my true self from him.  He wants me to try > ‘bouncing off of him (a rock)’ and see how that goes.  Interesting idea > tosay the least–however–he fails to grasp that rationality cannot fix > bp mixiness and out of controllness that develops from NOT minimizing > contact with stimuli like other people and situations. He says he is not > afraid of intensity–but he has NO IDEA what he is saying he wants to > get into.  NO CLUE.

Here’s my fairly manic 2 cents worth. > He partly wants to do this to help me, but partly to add to his > ‘collection of experience’ (just conjecture on my  part.) SO, I say > 1. He doesnt get it.  He doesnt get how intense/serious this can be.

No idea how to explain it. The only way my friends get close to understanding are cos they’ve been there themselves or cos they’ve been with me and helped support me when I’m going off. It sounds like he’s sincere about wanting to help. Finding out if he’s a rock that will shatter cos of too much force or if it will hold up might be worth a try. I have 1 or 2 friends I can rage at, and 1 of those 2 has raged at me a few times. Living in the same house probably makes things tougher cos it’s harder to ignore people when yyou want to ignore the world. I don’t know if it helps you to rant and rave at someone or if the only way to cope is to ignore the world. I do both. And back to he doesn’t get it. It’s beyond explanation. The only way he’s going to get it is to experience itr first hand. > 2. I am not a petting zoo.  I like the concept and we both acknowledge > that my coping mechanism sorta works fine (havent tried another tho), > and that if we tried something else (who knows what) I have it to fall > into.

That means you don’t have to charge admission to get through the door. > 3. He doesnt understand loss of rationality.  He wants to develop a > ‘plan’ for this interaction, and a ‘cue’ for me to let him know.  I will > forget both.  Its SO hard to understand if you haven’t been there.

See point 1. He won’t understand til he knows more about it. > 4. I’m afraid but intrigued.  I don’t want to hurt him.

Fair enough. But if you tell him how bad it’s likely to be, and that what you say is not aimed at him or meant to be nasty to him personally, much as it seems that way sometimes, and he’s still willing to try it, I’d try it. Friends that care that much are really valuable things to have. > 5. I’m not a petting zoo.

See point 2. > INPUT??

Good Luck. All of that was just my opinion, so ignore or use as you see fit, and I’m not sure how well my brain’s working today. Matt — "We’re all mad, you see. I’m mad, you’re mad, we’re all of us quite insane. Who wouldn’t be, after all this time doing this crap?" "Why do you think I’m mad?" "Why, of course you’re mad. If you weren’t mad, you wouldn’t be here." – Jack L Chalker, "The Hot-Wired Dodo"

Response:

I can totally relate to what you are going through right now, I am only recently diagnosed with this disorder, and so far, my husband really dosen’t understand it, he says he really wants to help, but then he tells me it’s all in my mind, and my control, and then he will get angry with me when I am on a depressive episode and all that i want to do is stare at the wall or close my eyes and not say a thing, so I am confused as well, but I think all you can do is let him try, you see, this is new to "them" and not to us, but think back on how hard it was for you to understand this at first, he is just i stage one where we both were at one time in the beggining, stay patient as possible, and keep me posted… Butterfly Brains * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!

Response:

;<Hiya….. ;< ;<Thanks for all of the tips and suggestions!!   ;< ;<I was a little hypomanic late last evening, had to take a klon with my ;<seroquel.  Roomie and I had dinner (he rents a room from me, and we are ;<becoming dear/close friends), and we were talking about the ;<philosophical ramifications of taking medication.  I was talking to him ;<about my identity issues, wether it is right to medicate somehting that ;<was with me when I was born, how bipolar is as close to god as you can ;<get, the injustice and bad karma that was manifest from living a ;<possibly inauthentic life (what a thing to teach people), but the irony ;<of living that life but being written off as crazy.  He was a bit blown ;<away. ;< ;<I recently met someone whom I am very fond of.  Since its a small house ;<<G>, I told him about this.  He expressed some jealousy that day. Last ;<night he said he felt loss, although he said he wasnt looking for ;<anything now, he feels he has lost the Possibility of relationship ;<(captial R) with me. ;< ;<Oh boy. ;< ;<Thumper ;< I’m blown away too. I’ve though of these things. For me to live as I was born, I would need to be a hermit in the woods. Let’s do an experiment thump. You and I will go hike the Apalachain trail for three months with no meds. Let bet on which state we end up building that lean too in and eating rabbit raw. That’s a bit two harsh I guss. I’m in a flat, fuck it mood. Stop thinking so much, will ya. I’ve got some work for you to do. Don’t go off on me. Oh, The lean too out in the woods with you sort of has it’s appeal.<G>

Response:

> Well I say if he asked for it, then go for it.  You can always say "I told > you so" and see if he wants to go back to the previous arrangement of you > "hiding".  Well, I suppose you couldn’t erase the memory, but maybe some > previous arrangement that agrees that if he can’t handle it on a permanant > basis then he doesn’t have to, so that way it wouldn’t be an all or nothing > thing.

Yeah, we have that understanding.  We were both clear on that, since what I do now works for me. Thump

Response:

…. how about trying to read 3 chapters of a Chemistry textbook, and take a quiz.  But only after staying awake for 36 hours and ingesting a 12-pack of Mountain Dew, 3 pots of VERY strong coffee, 3 packs of cigarettes, it is 95 F. in the shade, and you’re sitting on an anthill? — Eileen [The world will go as it wills; not as you or I would have it.  MZB]

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I am trying to think of real life experiences that, imagined by normies, > might get them closer to understanding what BP is like to experience.

Response:

Here’s what I think.  This guy really likes you.  He knows you are bipolar.  He THINKS he knows what its about.  Guess what?  Normies are not stupid.  He JUST MIGHT be able to handle this.  From what you say here, he obviously cares about you. I say give it a shot.   Linda – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I am trying to think of real life experiences that, imagined by normies, >might get them closer to understanding what BP is like to experience. >Suggestions have been along the lines of "put your screwdriver in an >electrical socket ( and try to read a technical book afterward)", >"contrast the feeling of being REALLY stoned and being Really on top of >it–and think that is the differnce between being on meds–meds making >you closer to normal", etc, ie, it takes THAT MUCH to settle a mixed >state down. >Heres my situation: >My housemate and I have beecome intimate freinds.  His concept of >relationship (no capital R there, note) sustains the notion that if one >does not share experiences that one is not invested in the relationship. >IE, if I cope by minimizing stimulus and going to my room when I"m in a >BP rage, he sees it as hiding my true self from him.  He wants me to try >’bouncing off of him (a rock)’ and see how that goes.  Interesting idea >tosay the least–however–he fails to grasp that rationality cannot fix >bp mixiness and out of controllness that develops from NOT minimizing >contact with stimuli like other people and situations. He says he is not >afraid of intensity–but he has NO IDEA what he is saying he wants to >get into.  NO CLUE. >He partly wants to do this to help me, but partly to add to his >’collection of experience’ (just conjecture on my  part.) SO, I say >1. He doesnt get it.  He doesnt get how intense/serious this can be. >2. I am not a petting zoo.  I like the concept and we both acknowledge >that my coping mechanism sorta works fine (havent tried another tho), >and that if we tried something else (who knows what) I have it to fall >into. >3. He doesnt understand loss of rationality.  He wants to develop a >’plan’ for this interaction, and a ‘cue’ for me to let him know.  I will >forget both.  Its SO hard to understand if you haven’t been there. >4. I’m afraid but intrigued.  I don’t want to hurt him. >5. I’m not a petting zoo. >INPUT?? >Thumper

Response:

Hiya….. Thanks for all of the tips and suggestions!!   I was a little hypomanic late last evening, had to take a klon with my seroquel.  Roomie and I had dinner (he rents a room from me, and we are becoming dear/close friends), and we were talking about the philosophical ramifications of taking medication.  I was talking to him about my identity issues, wether it is right to medicate somehting that was with me when I was born, how bipolar is as close to god as you can get, the injustice and bad karma that was manifest from living a possibly inauthentic life (what a thing to teach people), but the irony of living that life but being written off as crazy.  He was a bit blown away. I recently met someone whom I am very fond of.  Since its a small house <G>, I told him about this.  He expressed some jealousy that day. Last night he said he felt loss, although he said he wasnt looking for anything now, he feels he has lost the Possibility of relationship (captial R) with me. Oh boy. Thumper – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > How does she know she ISN’T going to marry this man?  And who is to > say that people even HAVE to get married in this day and age?  She > could choose just to live with him the rest of her life.  It doesn’t > make it any less a relationship, and he needs to KNOW.  If he isn’t > going to be emotionally available to her during these times, don’t you > think SHE deserves to know now instead of fifteen years down the road? > i say if you are not going to marry this guy, don’t open yourself up to the ridicule and the >de-stabilization.

Response:

None of my biz  but sounds like he wants to get to know you so he can control you,   Are you sure he can pass your acid test? You are – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I am trying to think of real life experiences that, imagined by normies, >might get them closer to understanding what BP is like to experience. >Suggestions have been along the lines of "put your screwdriver in an >electrical socket ( and try to read a technical book afterward)", >"contrast the feeling of being REALLY stoned and being Really on top of >it–and think that is the differnce between being on meds–meds making >you closer to normal", etc, ie, it takes THAT MUCH to settle a mixed >state down. >Heres my situation: >My housemate and I have beecome intimate freinds.  His concept of >relationship (no capital R there, note) sustains the notion that if one >does not share experiences that one is not invested in the relationship. >IE, if I cope by minimizing stimulus and going to my room when I"m in a >BP rage, he sees it as hiding my true self from him.  He wants me to try >’bouncing off of him (a rock)’ and see how that goes.  Interesting idea >tosay the least–however–he fails to grasp that rationality cannot fix >bp mixiness and out of controllness that develops from NOT minimizing >contact with stimuli like other people and situations. He says he is not >afraid of intensity–but he has NO IDEA what he is saying he wants to >get into.  NO CLUE. >He partly wants to do this to help me, but partly to add to his >’collection of experience’ (just conjecture on my  part.) SO, I say >1. He doesnt get it.  He doesnt get how intense/serious this can be. >2. I am not a petting zoo.  I like the concept and we both acknowledge >that my coping mechanism sorta works fine (havent tried another tho), >and that if we tried something else (who knows what) I have it to fall >into. >3. He doesnt understand loss of rationality.  He wants to develop a >’plan’ for this interaction, and a ‘cue’ for me to let him know.  I will >forget both.  Its SO hard to understand if you haven’t been there. >4. I’m afraid but intrigued.  I don’t want to hurt him. >5. I’m not a petting zoo. >INPUT?? >Thumper

Response:

Hi Thumper, your dilemma really got my attention because as (bad) luck would have it i was recently in a  similar situation.   As you said, and know all too well, the housemate’s plan is unrealistic.  And you will be the one to pay the price, not only in terms of an aggravated manic rage from dealing with him at the height of irrationality, but also the humiliation of him witnessing you at your worst.  I love your "petting zoo" analogy.  Just today i was thinking that a certain man i have spent a little time with was beginning to think of me as a "pet" he could keep at home and feed and water to amuse himself, because i had been (until yesterday) holding all my symptoms at bay with superhuman effort, but alas the dam burst and he was horrified to see gentle and accommodating me raging and ranting with anger and jealousy, accusing him of every character flaw known to man (probably correctly.)  The whole experience has left me way off balance and still very angry.  i say if you are not going to marry this guy, don’t open yourself up to the ridicule and the de-stabilization.  He can find another hobby, perhaps a tank of man-eating sharks. :):):)    

Response:

<snip> >3. He doesnt understand loss of rationality.  He wants to develop a >’plan’ for this interaction, and a ‘cue’ for me to let him know.  I will >forget both.  Its SO hard to understand if you haven’t been there.

That’s the part of your post that really caught my attention, Thumper. My husband and I just danced the same dance during my recent manic episode.  He simply could not understand why I was acting irrationally.  I kept saying, "But dear–IT’S NOT A RATIONAL DISEASE." I think he finally got it.  I’m not sure.  The next severe manic episode (which I hope is far down the road, since I haven’t quite recovered from this one) will tell.  On the other hand, he doesn’t often really listen to me.  I finally put him on the phone with my pdoc, who gave him the brief intro (How to Live With A Bipolar Spouse 101) which seemed to help.  Serves him right for wandering into the graduate seminar (me) without taking the prerequisites. >4. I’m afraid but intrigued.  I don’t want to hurt him.

Hell, none of us wants to hurt anyone, I don’t think.  But it seems to be very, very difficult for people who don’t have a psychiatric illness to understand that we are who we are and do what we do simply because our brains aren’t working right.  Why not break his leg and then act dense at the concept of his not being able to dance?  Oh, sorry, I forgot.  You don’t want to hurt him.  Put the sledgehammer down! <g> >5. I’m not a petting zoo.

There seems to be a small portion of the population who, upon coming into contact with people with bipolar disorder, see this terrible and often terrifying illness as something romantic.  I think they get seduced by the concept of mania, and become Bipolar Wannabees. Somehow they tend to gloss over the other side of the coin–what Kay Jamison called a "long and lacerating, black suicidal depression"  and which, for her, as well as myself and others, can last a year and a half.  I think they would gladly and gratefully revoke membership in the club after a couple of days of it.  We don’t have that luxury. >INPUT??

See above.  Probably nothing that’s going to help the situation in which you find yourself.  But it’s my $.02 worth. >Thumper

(Who is the only person in this newsgroups whose post I would even consider following up.) Yamsi

Response:

How does she know she ISN’T going to marry this man?  And who is to say that people even HAVE to get married in this day and age?  She could choose just to live with him the rest of her life.  It doesn’t make it any less a relationship, and he needs to KNOW.  If he isn’t going to be emotionally available to her during these times, don’t you think SHE deserves to know now instead of fifteen years down the road? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > i say if you are not going to marry this guy, don’t open yourself up to the ridicule and the >de-stabilization.

Response:

Well I say if he asked for it, then go for it.  You can always say "I told you so" and see if he wants to go back to the previous arrangement of you "hiding".  Well, I suppose you couldn’t erase the memory, but maybe some previous arrangement that agrees that if he can’t handle it on a permanant basis then he doesn’t have to, so that way it wouldn’t be an all or nothing thing.  I know what some people might say about not taking steps backward, but I always think its better to have some sort of middle ground option.  Of course that may seem as a rejection on your part, yes it may… My advice gets more and more useless as I go on, so Good Luck!

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hoppieeeeeeeee > Thump him.  Sounds kinky. > Its really hard for me to let it go–doing it will feed it–and he says > he wont be scared–but fuck if *I* am….jeez…. > Thumper > I say show him thumper, Let him see it all. THUMP him. I agree that > letting it all be seen is the way to go. He may not like it. He may > leave. He may learn to cope and be happy for you to leave during this > time. It may work out great. It may flop. So? > Thump Him, Thump Him THUMP HIM. > ;<I am trying to think of real life experiences that, imagined by > normies, > ;<might get them closer to understanding what BP is like to > experience. > ;<Suggestions have been along the lines of "put your screwdriver in an > ;<electrical socket ( and try to read a technical book afterward)", > ;<"contrast the feeling of being REALLY stoned and being Really on top > of > ;<it–and think that is the differnce between being on meds–meds > making > ;<you closer to normal", etc, ie, it takes THAT MUCH to settle a mixed > ;<state down. > ;< > ;<Heres my situation: > ;< > ;<My housemate and I have beecome intimate freinds.  His concept of > ;<relationship (no capital R there, note) sustains the notion that if > one > ;<does not share experiences that one is not invested in the > relationship. > ;<IE, if I cope by minimizing stimulus and going to my room when I"m > in a > ;<BP rage, he sees it as hiding my true self from him.  He wants me to > try > ;<’bouncing off of him (a rock)’ and see how that goes.  Interesting > idea > ;<tosay the least–however–he fails to grasp that rationality cannot > fix > ;<bp mixiness and out of controllness that develops from NOT > minimizing > ;<contact with stimuli like other people and situations. He says he is > not > ;<afraid of intensity–but he has NO IDEA what he is saying he wants > to > ;<get into.  NO CLUE. > ;< > ;<He partly wants to do this to help me, but partly to add to his > ;<’collection of experience’ (just conjecture on my  part.) SO, I say > ;< > ;<1. He doesnt get it.  He doesnt get how intense/serious this can be. > ;< > ;<2. I am not a petting zoo.  I like the concept and we both > acknowledge > ;<that my coping mechanism sorta works fine (havent tried another > tho), > ;<and that if we tried something else (who knows what) I have it to > fall > ;<into. > ;< > ;<3. He doesnt understand loss of rationality.  He wants to develop a > ;<’plan’ for this interaction, and a ‘cue’ for me to let him know.  I > will > ;<forget both.  Its SO hard to understand if you haven’t been there. > ;< > ;<4. I’m afraid but intrigued.  I don’t want to hurt him. > ;< > ;<5. I’m not a petting zoo. > ;< > ;< > ;<INPUT?? > ;< > ;< > ;<Thumper

Response:

I say show him thumper, Let him see it all. THUMP him. I agree that letting it all be seen is the way to go. He may not like it. He may leave. He may learn to cope and be happy for you to leave during this time. It may work out great. It may flop. So? Thump Him, Thump Him THUMP HIM. ;<I am trying to think of real life experiences that, imagined by normies, ;<might get them closer to understanding what BP is like to experience. ;<Suggestions have been along the lines of "put your screwdriver in an ;<electrical socket ( and try to read a technical book afterward)", ;<"contrast the feeling of being REALLY stoned and being Really on top of ;<it–and think that is the differnce between being on meds–meds making ;<you closer to normal", etc, ie, it takes THAT MUCH to settle a mixed ;<state down. ;< ;<Heres my situation: ;< ;<My housemate and I have beecome intimate freinds.  His concept of ;<relationship (no capital R there, note) sustains the notion that if one ;<does not share experiences that one is not invested in the relationship. ;<IE, if I cope by minimizing stimulus and going to my room when I"m in a ;<BP rage, he sees it as hiding my true self from him.  He wants me to try ;<’bouncing off of him (a rock)’ and see how that goes.  Interesting idea ;<tosay the least–however–he fails to grasp that rationality cannot fix ;<bp mixiness and out of controllness that develops from NOT minimizing ;<contact with stimuli like other people and situations. He says he is not ;<afraid of intensity–but he has NO IDEA what he is saying he wants to ;<get into.  NO CLUE. ;< ;<He partly wants to do this to help me, but partly to add to his ;<’collection of experience’ (just conjecture on my  part.) SO, I say ;< ;<1. He doesnt get it.  He doesnt get how intense/serious this can be. ;< ;<2. I am not a petting zoo.  I like the concept and we both acknowledge ;<that my coping mechanism sorta works fine (havent tried another tho), ;<and that if we tried something else (who knows what) I have it to fall ;<into. ;< ;<3. He doesnt understand loss of rationality.  He wants to develop a ;<’plan’ for this interaction, and a ‘cue’ for me to let him know.  I will ;<forget both.  Its SO hard to understand if you haven’t been there. ;< ;<4. I’m afraid but intrigued.  I don’t want to hurt him. ;< ;<5. I’m not a petting zoo. ;< ;< ;<INPUT?? ;< ;< ;<Thumper

Response:

Hoppieeeeeeeee Thump him.  Sounds kinky.   Its really hard for me to let it go–doing it will feed it–and he says he wont be scared–but fuck if *I* am….jeez…. Thumper – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I say show him thumper, Let him see it all. THUMP him. I agree that > letting it all be seen is the way to go. He may not like it. He may > leave. He may learn to cope and be happy for you to leave during this > time. It may work out great. It may flop. So? > Thump Him, Thump Him THUMP HIM. > ;<I am trying to think of real life experiences that, imagined by > normies, > ;<might get them closer to understanding what BP is like to > experience. > ;<Suggestions have been along the lines of "put your screwdriver in an > ;<electrical socket ( and try to read a technical book afterward)", > ;<"contrast the feeling of being REALLY stoned and being Really on top > of > ;<it–and think that is the differnce between being on meds–meds > making > ;<you closer to normal", etc, ie, it takes THAT MUCH to settle a mixed > ;<state down. > ;< > ;<Heres my situation: > ;< > ;<My housemate and I have beecome intimate freinds.  His concept of > ;<relationship (no capital R there, note) sustains the notion that if > one > ;<does not share experiences that one is not invested in the > relationship. > ;<IE, if I cope by minimizing stimulus and going to my room when I"m > in a > ;<BP rage, he sees it as hiding my true self from him.  He wants me to > try > ;<’bouncing off of him (a rock)’ and see how that goes.  Interesting > idea > ;<tosay the least–however–he fails to grasp that rationality cannot > fix > ;<bp mixiness and out of controllness that develops from NOT > minimizing > ;<contact with stimuli like other people and situations. He says he is > not > ;<afraid of intensity–but he has NO IDEA what he is saying he wants > to > ;<get into.  NO CLUE. > ;< > ;<He partly wants to do this to help me, but partly to add to his > ;<’collection of experience’ (just conjecture on my  part.) SO, I say > ;< > ;<1. He doesnt get it.  He doesnt get how intense/serious this can be. > ;< > ;<2. I am not a petting zoo.  I like the concept and we both > acknowledge > ;<that my coping mechanism sorta works fine (havent tried another > tho), > ;<and that if we tried something else (who knows what) I have it to > fall > ;<into. > ;< > ;<3. He doesnt understand loss of rationality.  He wants to develop a > ;<’plan’ for this interaction, and a ‘cue’ for me to let him know.  I > will > ;<forget both.  Its SO hard to understand if you haven’t been there. > ;< > ;<4. I’m afraid but intrigued.  I don’t want to hurt him. > ;< > ;<5. I’m not a petting zoo. > ;< > ;< > ;<INPUT?? > ;< > ;< > ;<Thumper

Response:

Well you do own the vice grips now don’t you. ;<Hoppieeeeeeeee ;<Thump him.  Sounds kinky.   ;< ;<Its really hard for me to let it go–doing it will feed it–and he says ;<he wont be scared–but fuck if *I* am….jeez…. ;< ;<Thumper ;<

;<> ;<> I say show him thumper, Let him see it all. THUMP him. I agree that ;<> letting it all be seen is the way to go. He may not like it. He may ;<> leave. He may learn to cope and be happy for you to leave during this ;<> time. It may work out great. It may flop. So? ;<> ;<> Thump Him, Thump Him THUMP HIM. ;<> ;<> ;<> ;<I am trying to think of real life experiences that, imagined by ;<> normies, ;<> ;<might get them closer to understanding what BP is like to ;<> experience. ;<> ;<Suggestions have been along the lines of "put your screwdriver in an ;<> ;<electrical socket ( and try to read a technical book afterward)", ;<> ;<"contrast the feeling of being REALLY stoned and being Really on top ;<> of ;<> ;<it–and think that is the differnce between being on meds–meds ;<> making ;<> ;<you closer to normal", etc, ie, it takes THAT MUCH to settle a mixed ;<> ;<state down. ;<> ;< ;<> ;<Heres my situation: ;<> ;< ;<> ;<My housemate and I have beecome intimate freinds.  His concept of ;<> ;<relationship (no capital R there, note) sustains the notion that if ;<> one ;<> ;<does not share experiences that one is not invested in the ;<> relationship. ;<> ;<IE, if I cope by minimizing stimulus and going to my room when I"m ;<> in a ;<> ;<BP rage, he sees it as hiding my true self from him.  He wants me to ;<> try ;<> ;<’bouncing off of him (a rock)’ and see how that goes. Interesting ;<> idea ;<> ;<tosay the least–however–he fails to grasp that rationality cannot ;<> fix ;<> ;<bp mixiness and out of controllness that develops from NOT ;<> minimizing ;<> ;<contact with stimuli like other people and situations. He says he is ;<> not ;<> ;<afraid of intensity–but he has NO IDEA what he is saying he wants ;<> to ;<> ;<get into.  NO CLUE. ;<> ;< ;<> ;<He partly wants to do this to help me, but partly to add to his ;<> ;<’collection of experience’ (just conjecture on my  part.) SO, I say ;<> ;< ;<> ;<1. He doesnt get it.  He doesnt get how intense/serious this can be. ;<> ;< ;<> ;<2. I am not a petting zoo.  I like the concept and we both ;<> acknowledge ;<> ;<that my coping mechanism sorta works fine (havent tried another ;<> tho), ;<> ;<and that if we tried something else (who knows what) I have it to ;<> fall ;<> ;<into. ;<> ;< ;<> ;<3. He doesnt understand loss of rationality.  He wants to develop a ;<> ;<’plan’ for this interaction, and a ‘cue’ for me to let him know. I ;<> will ;<> ;<forget both.  Its SO hard to understand if you haven’t been there. ;<> ;< ;<> ;<4. I’m afraid but intrigued.  I don’t want to hurt him. ;<> ;< ;<> ;<5. I’m not a petting zoo. ;<> ;< ;<> ;< ;<> ;<INPUT?? ;<> ;< ;<> ;< ;<> ;<Thumper

Response:

I am trying to think of real life experiences that, imagined by normies, might get them closer to understanding what BP is like to experience. Suggestions have been along the lines of "put your screwdriver in an electrical socket ( and try to read a technical book afterward)", "contrast the feeling of being REALLY stoned and being Really on top of it–and think that is the differnce between being on meds–meds making you closer to normal", etc, ie, it takes THAT MUCH to settle a mixed state down. Heres my situation: My housemate and I have beecome intimate freinds.  His concept of relationship (no capital R there, note) sustains the notion that if one does not share experiences that one is not invested in the relationship. IE, if I cope by minimizing stimulus and going to my room when I"m in a BP rage, he sees it as hiding my true self from him.  He wants me to try ‘bouncing off of him (a rock)’ and see how that goes.  Interesting idea tosay the least–however–he fails to grasp that rationality cannot fix bp mixiness and out of controllness that develops from NOT minimizing contact with stimuli like other people and situations. He says he is not afraid of intensity–but he has NO IDEA what he is saying he wants to get into.  NO CLUE. He partly wants to do this to help me, but partly to add to his ‘collection of experience’ (just conjecture on my  part.) SO, I say 1. He doesnt get it.  He doesnt get how intense/serious this can be. 2. I am not a petting zoo.  I like the concept and we both acknowledge that my coping mechanism sorta works fine (havent tried another tho), and that if we tried something else (who knows what) I have it to fall into. 3. He doesnt understand loss of rationality.  He wants to develop a ‘plan’ for this interaction, and a ‘cue’ for me to let him know.  I will forget both.  Its SO hard to understand if you haven’t been there. 4. I’m afraid but intrigued.  I don’t want to hurt him. 5. I’m not a petting zoo. INPUT?? Thumper

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