Today's Articles

• this time of year

  Question:

  (((elle)))  To everything there is a season….. Amy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > This time of year gets very depressing for me.  It’s a trigger; it was > September 2000 that my mom became ill for the last time, and there were some > very difficult circumstances which followed her illness and death. > I’ve been working my way back from the precipice of trauma recovery and the > interrupted grieving for her ever since. > It would be very easy for me to get sucked into depression right now. > After all this time, there’s a part of me that wants to despair of ever > being whole again, that just wants to say "fuck it all" and pick up again. > But of course, I won’t do that.  Two years later, I need to be getting on > with my life. > Hugs, > elle

  Response:

  Having lost both parents to lung cancer, I know that losing a parent sucks any time of year.   This time of year is tough on me for different reasons.  Shorter days. Colder days.  Adds up to my wanting to withdraw and sleep until March or so.  I need stuff to look forward to.  We booked a trip to Florida today so Patty and I have that to keep us buoyant.  Any little thing helps. I’ve blown quits during these next few months.  This time will be the exception.  I’ve come too far.  We’ve come too far.  We know the deal; don’t smoke.  So I don’t and I won’t today. Lee — 4m 2w 1d 22h smoke-free, 8,335 cigs not smoked, $1,250.25 saved for bikes and…uh…other stuff. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > This time of year gets very depressing for me.  It’s a trigger; it was > September 2000 that my mom became ill for the last time, and there were some > very difficult circumstances which followed her illness and death. > I’ve been working my way back from the precipice of trauma recovery and the > interrupted grieving for her ever since. > It would be very easy for me to get sucked into depression right now. > After all this time, there’s a part of me that wants to despair of ever > being whole again, that just wants to say "fuck it all" and pick up again. > But of course, I won’t do that.  Two years later, I need to be getting on > with my life. > Hugs, > elle

  Response:

  Hey elle, two years of grieving is enough. You’re absolutely right, it’s time to move on. I can remember having dreams about my dad for about two years after he died. It took a while for me to move beyond the pain and frustration, but it did happen. I hope that you can to. GregB

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This time of year gets very depressing for me.  It’s a trigger; it was > September 2000 that my mom became ill for the last time, and there were some > very difficult circumstances which followed her illness and death. > I’ve been working my way back from the precipice of trauma recovery and the > interrupted grieving for her ever since. > It would be very easy for me to get sucked into depression right now. > After all this time, there’s a part of me that wants to despair of ever > being whole again, that just wants to say "fuck it all" and pick up again. > But of course, I won’t do that.  Two years later, I need to be getting on > with my life. > Hugs, > elle

  Response:

  > Y’all are the best.  Thanks for the hugs, thanks for caring.  Let’s see if I > can get through this and keep my quit intact. > Hugs, > elle

  you bet you can! read and post every minute if you need to! we are here! rosie

  Response:

  > This time of year gets very depressing for me.

  Elle, Huge hugs and heart healing thoughts coming your way!! Pat S Three weeks, one day, 10 hours, 29 minutes and 4 seconds. 448 cigarettes not smoked, saving $85.26. Life saved: 1 day, 13 hours, 20 minutes.

  Response:

  > This time of year gets very depressing for me.  It’s a trigger; it was > September 2000 that my mom became ill for the last time, and there were some > very difficult circumstances which followed her illness and death. > I’ve been working my way back from the precipice of trauma recovery and the > interrupted grieving for her ever since. > It would be very easy for me to get sucked into depression right now. > After all this time, there’s a part of me that wants to despair of ever > being whole again, that just wants to say "fuck it all" and pick up again.

  Sorry about the reminder of this time of year and the pain that’s part of it. I’m no fan of suffering. Some days, I’m not thrilled about the growth that is a part of the process. If smoking worked at *all*, I’d say hell yeah, pick up the smokes. Puff away, and try to reduce what you’re feeling and shove it back down, and never mind the consequences to your health, finances and life. I think it was Flemming who noted, insightfully, once the door is open to all the things we smoked about, we’ve come too far and the only way out is through. > But of course, I won’t do that.  

  Of course you won’t. I have to remind myself that having the feeling is fine; I had it for 21 years. Acting on it would be asinine. Two years later, I need to be getting on > with my life.

  And so you are. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hugs, > elle

  Response:

  elle,   Hope you will pull up and out of any downward feelings.  My dad passed two years ago 9/19, I haven’t reached that day yet but it’s very close by.  I’ve been dealing with it ok.     From my reading I’m in the 2/3 week depression/anxiety stage so I’m just holding on myself.   I have been getting great support from this quit group, and feel a tad better each day.  A special thank you to steve s.   Elle, from my reading also I see alot of people that honor and respect you.  You obviously provide strength to many people.  You are the kind of person a greater power works through to help us all,  He would not let you down, or us. I will pray for you also, as I amsure many will Be free, and be strong! Lance K 1 month, 5 days–teeth clenched.

  Response:

  "elle" wrote – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This time of year gets very depressing for me.  It’s a trigger; it was > September 2000 that my mom became ill for the last time, and there were some > very difficult circumstances which followed her illness and death. > I’ve been working my way back from the precipice of trauma recovery and the > interrupted grieving for her ever since. > It would be very easy for me to get sucked into depression right now. > After all this time, there’s a part of me that wants to despair of ever > being whole again, that just wants to say "fuck it all" and pick up again. > But of course, I won’t do that.  Two years later, I need to be getting on > with my life.

  Yep. Seasons changing, time passing, memories floating up at you… I’m afraid I know the feeling. Fact is, it’d be extremely easy to just let go, give up, stop striving for improvement… How hard it is to get well! How difficult to make progress and take responsibility and TRY! There are sure days when I find it extremely difficult to just get out of bed. My dreams are so much more seductive than the reality of rolling over, sitting up, putting my feet on the floor and actually rising and finding my way downstairs to see if there’s any coffee left, as I start another in a series of what seem to be rather pointless days… But I do it, for some reason. It’s just sort of foolish NOT to, it seems. About the last thing on my mind these days is wanting a cigarette, for some reason. Depression and anger and despair and all that stuff that ganged up on me recently didn’t seem a compelling enough reason to light up and inhale. Stinking and coughing, on top of my other woes, would’ve been just too humiliating. It’s lost its appeal. And that tells me I *have* moved on. It’s kinda like the minute hand on a clock… Hard to notice significant progress, but it’s steadily happening. Make you a deal? Don’t get depressed and smoke, and I’ll come give you a real nice, big, RL hug on Wednesday… JEF. (Depressed but not smelly)

  Response:

  {{{ELLE}}} God bless you Elle. I have no words of wisdom for you. I must say though, you MUST get on with life. Find your happiness. Make your happiness. Dion Singing in the sunshine, laughing in the rain.

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This time of year gets very depressing for me.  It’s a trigger; it was > September 2000 that my mom became ill for the last time, and there were some > very difficult circumstances which followed her illness and death. > I’ve been working my way back from the precipice of trauma recovery and the > interrupted grieving for her ever since. > It would be very easy for me to get sucked into depression right now. > After all this time, there’s a part of me that wants to despair of ever > being whole again, that just wants to say "fuck it all" and pick up again. > But of course, I won’t do that.  Two years later, I need to be getting on > with my life. > Hugs, > elle

  Response:

  Hi elle, This is a tough time of year for getting depressed at the best of times. Give yourself more time, ok?  You had your Mom for a longer time than you are trying to get over it.  I’m not sure if that is coming out right but I hope you understand what I mean.  Quitting smoking or other awful things…. give yourself a break. (((elle))) Kim

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This time of year gets very depressing for me.  It’s a trigger; it was > September 2000 that my mom became ill for the last time, and there were some > very difficult circumstances which followed her illness and death. > I’ve been working my way back from the precipice of trauma recovery and the > interrupted grieving for her ever since. > It would be very easy for me to get sucked into depression right now. > After all this time, there’s a part of me that wants to despair of ever > being whole again, that just wants to say "fuck it all" and pick up again. > But of course, I won’t do that.  Two years later, I need to be getting on > with my life. > Hugs, > elle

  Response:

  [snipped good stuff as usual] > JEF. (Depressed but not smelly)

  (((JEF.)))

  Response:

  Hugs back Elle… turn it all around and think of how happy your mother would be that you are a non-smoker. John

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This time of year gets very depressing for me.  It’s a trigger; it was > September 2000 that my mom became ill for the last time, and there were some > very difficult circumstances which followed her illness and death. > I’ve been working my way back from the precipice of trauma recovery and the > interrupted grieving for her ever since. > It would be very easy for me to get sucked into depression right now. > After all this time, there’s a part of me that wants to despair of ever > being whole again, that just wants to say "fuck it all" and pick up again. > But of course, I won’t do that.  Two years later, I need to be getting on > with my life. > Hugs, > elle

  Response:

  > But of course, I won’t do that.  Two years later, I need to be getting on > with my life. > Hugs, > elle

  ((((((((((((((((elle))))))))))))))))))))

  Response:

  Thanks to everyone for your kind and thoughtful words and hugs.  I think the next few months are going to be hard.  I have to face things I don’t want to face– I can feel myself zoning out even as I write these words… I so much don’t want to go there, and it really is that hard for me to ask for help. But I gotta do this. Y’all are the best.  Thanks for the hugs, thanks for caring.  Let’s see if I can get through this and keep my quit intact. Hugs, elle

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This time of year gets very depressing for me.  It’s a trigger; it was > September 2000 that my mom became ill for the last time, and there were some > very difficult circumstances which followed her illness and death. > I’ve been working my way back from the precipice of trauma recovery and the > interrupted grieving for her ever since. > It would be very easy for me to get sucked into depression right now. > After all this time, there’s a part of me that wants to despair of ever > being whole again, that just wants to say "fuck it all" and pick up again. > But of course, I won’t do that.  Two years later, I need to be getting on > with my life. > Hugs, > elle

  Response:

  ((Elle)) …pat. — Pat and Ash http://www3.sympatico.ca/patash/ Ash’s ICQ:   152392429 Pat’s ICQ:  153842682

  Response:

  (((((Elle)))))) …right back to you, Elle.  I understand what you’re saying…take care… Sally – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >This time of year gets very depressing for me.  It’s a trigger; it was >September 2000 that my mom became ill for the last time, and there were some >very difficult circumstances which followed her illness and death. >I’ve been working my way back from the precipice of trauma recovery and the >interrupted grieving for her ever since. >It would be very easy for me to get sucked into depression right now. >After all this time, there’s a part of me that wants to despair of ever >being whole again, that just wants to say "fuck it all" and pick up again. >But of course, I won’t do that.  Two years later, I need to be getting on >with my life. >Hugs, >elle

  Response:

  Elle, I understand.  Two years ago this past July my mother died of lung cancer.  It was a long slow death.  On her deathbed I promised her I would quit smoking.  It took me two years of guilt and shame for not having the strength to dump the butts.  But the day finally arrived, and I feel like I fulfilled a promise.  Yes, life continues, and not a day goes by that I don’t think of my mother with gratitude for all she gave me.  I keep on keepin on cuz that’s all I know how to do.  Hang in there. SteveS Two months, six days, 21 hours, 2 minutes and 54 seconds. 2066 cigarettes not smoked, saving $361.60. Promises fulfilled:  one.

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This time of year gets very depressing for me.  It’s a trigger; it was > September 2000 that my mom became ill for the last time, and there were some > very difficult circumstances which followed her illness and death. > I’ve been working my way back from the precipice of trauma recovery and the > interrupted grieving for her ever since. > It would be very easy for me to get sucked into depression right now. > After all this time, there’s a part of me that wants to despair of ever > being whole again, that just wants to say "fuck it all" and pick up again. > But of course, I won’t do that.  Two years later, I need to be getting on > with my life. > Hugs, > elle

  Response:

  This time of year gets very depressing for me.  It’s a trigger; it was September 2000 that my mom became ill for the last time, and there were some very difficult circumstances which followed her illness and death. I’ve been working my way back from the precipice of trauma recovery and the interrupted grieving for her ever since. It would be very easy for me to get sucked into depression right now. After all this time, there’s a part of me that wants to despair of ever being whole again, that just wants to say "fuck it all" and pick up again. But of course, I won’t do that.  Two years later, I need to be getting on with my life. Hugs, elle

  Response:

  - Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >This time of year gets very depressing for me.  It’s a trigger; it was >September 2000 that my mom became ill for the last time, and there were some >very difficult circumstances which followed her illness and death. >I’ve been working my way back from the precipice of trauma recovery and the >interrupted grieving for her ever since. >It would be very easy for me to get sucked into depression right now. >After all this time, there’s a part of me that wants to despair of ever >being whole again, that just wants to say "fuck it all" and pick up again. >But of course, I won’t do that.  Two years later, I need to be getting on >with my life. >Hugs, >elle

    I’m sorry about your mother,Elle.   I have to be moving on,too, and I’m having so much trouble.   Praying for you, Elle. I think you are so intelligent and thoughtful and wonderful.  love, Cheryl Faith

  Response:

  No comments Depression Recovery
  
  

• I want to smoke really badly

  Question:

  > > Carmen – cursing like hell ( hope that doesn’t become a new habbit) > One week, four days, 17 hours, 9 minutes and 39 seconds. 410 cigarettes > not > smoked, saving $106.60. Life saved: 1 day, 10 hours, 10 minutes. > Fuck it.. curse as much as you fuckin want to.  Shit, curse the goddam > mailman if it helps.  Just don’t fuckin smoke. > SteveS (shoulda been a sailor) > Two weeks, six days, 22 minutes and 21 seconds. 600 cigarettes not smoked, > saving $105.08. Life saved: 2 days, 2 hours, 0 minutes.

  Yeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaa and Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipeeeeeeeeeeeee! With hope and heart, Kathleen, and her seal/stamp of approval

  Response:

  Humming "anchors away" here, Steve….excellent point, tho….cuss it up, break shit, just don’t smoke. Lee — 2m 4w 21h smoke-free, 5,392 cigs not smoked, $808.80 saved. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > Carmen – cursing like hell ( hope that doesn’t become a new habbit) > > One week, four days, 17 hours, 9 minutes and 39 seconds. 410 cigarettes > not > > smoked, saving $106.60. Life saved: 1 day, 10 hours, 10 minutes. > Fuck it.. curse as much as you fuckin want to.  Shit, curse the goddam > mailman if it helps.  Just don’t fuckin smoke. > SteveS (shoulda been a sailor) > Two weeks, six days, 22 minutes and 21 seconds. 600 cigarettes not smoked, > saving $105.08. Life saved: 2 days, 2 hours, 0 minutes.

  Response:

  You will get through this, and every time you get through a bad patch like this one without smoking, you are making the next one easier.  I know it’s not easy now, but it will get easier and easier, if you don’t smoke.  If you smoke, it will get harder. You’re doing great.  Hang tough. epvof

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I woke up after sleeping the whole day. Feel like I didn’t sleep at all, > woke up many tiimes and felt like smoking but forced myself to stay in bed > and sleep again. I work nights this week and I am not used to it anymore. > Now it would be the time where I would have my coffee and a nice smoke. But > Fuck no I can’t I quitt a week ago. fuck right now Mr. Smoke is bugging me > pretty badly. I am running around the apartment like a jojo looking for > smokes. Didn’t find any but didn’t made me feeling better. > Just that I look for them makes me even more upset. I should know by now > better than that. But that urge is killing me. > No youf frickend smoke you are not getting me. I hate that. why can’t I take > that of my brain and think of something else. > No No no fucking way that I will have a fucking smoke. Not yet and never. > I am a FWD and I am proud of it I want to keep it that way. > Carmen – cursing like hell ( hope that doesn’t become a new habbit) > One week, four days, 17 hours, 9 minutes and 39 seconds. 410 cigarettes not > smoked, saving $106.60. Life saved: 1 day, 10 hours, 10 minutes.

  Response:

  Carmen…..Curse if you must but please don’t smoke.  Smoking will not make you feel any better.  If you smoke, you will be so pissed off at yourself, you will curse even more for having done it. Hang in there, the craving will pass. Eileen Smoke free for Seven months, one week, six days, 22 hours, 55 minutes and 46 seconds.  6778 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,152.16. Life saved: 3 weeks, 2 days, 12 hours, 50 minutes. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I woke up after sleeping the whole day. Feel like I didn’t sleep at all, > woke up many tiimes and felt like smoking but forced myself to stay in bed > and sleep again. I work nights this week and I am not used to it anymore. > Now it would be the time where I would have my coffee and a nice smoke. But > Fuck no I can’t I quitt a week ago. fuck right now Mr. Smoke is bugging me > pretty badly. I am running around the apartment like a jojo looking for > smokes. Didn’t find any but didn’t made me feeling better. > Just that I look for them makes me even more upset. I should know by now > better than that. But that urge is killing me. > No youf frickend smoke you are not getting me. I hate that. why can’t I take > that of my brain and think of something else. > No No no fucking way that I will have a fucking smoke. Not yet and never. > I am a FWD and I am proud of it I want to keep it that way. > Carmen – cursing like hell ( hope that doesn’t become a new habbit) > One week, four days, 17 hours, 9 minutes and 39 seconds. 410 cigarettes not > smoked, saving $106.60. Life saved: 1 day, 10 hours, 10 minutes.

  Response:

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Carmen – cursing like hell ( hope that doesn’t become a new habbit) > One week, four days, 17 hours, 9 minutes and 39 seconds. 410 cigarettes > not > smoked, saving $106.60. Life saved: 1 day, 10 hours, 10 minutes. > Fuck it.. curse as much as you fuckin want to.  Shit, curse the goddam > mailman if it helps.  Just don’t fuckin smoke. > SteveS (shoulda been a sailor) > Two weeks, six days, 22 minutes and 21 seconds. 600 cigarettes not smoked, > saving $105.08. Life saved: 2 days, 2 hours, 0 minutes.

  Response:

  > Carmen – cursing like hell ( hope that doesn’t become a new habbit) > One week, four days, 17 hours, 9 minutes and 39 seconds. 410 cigarettes not > smoked, saving $106.60. Life saved: 1 day, 10 hours, 10 minutes.

  Fuck it.. curse as much as you fuckin want to.  Shit, curse the goddam mailman if it helps.  Just don’t fuckin smoke. SteveS (shoulda been a sailor) Two weeks, six days, 22 minutes and 21 seconds. 600 cigarettes not smoked, saving $105.08. Life saved: 2 days, 2 hours, 0 minutes.

  Response:

  No you don’t wnat to smoke.  You want relief.  It is going to come whether you smoke or not.  But if you smoke, you will feel just as much depression/discouragement and shame as you do relief.  Hang in there!  Think good thoughts.  Divert your mind.  What is your dream vacation?  You know, something like that.  Maybe that urge is for something else.  Oh, oh, oh, something I learned in recovery: are you hungry?  angry?  lonely?  tired? (remember HALT) if so, it is not a cigarette what you want.  Try to take care of yourself when you get like this Carmen.  Try to get to the root of what you want/ what you feel.  Maybe it is a crave…  but sometimes it is not. With hope and heart, Kathleen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I woke up after sleeping the whole day. Feel like I didn’t sleep at all, > woke up many tiimes and felt like smoking but forced myself to stay in bed > and sleep again. I work nights this week and I am not used to it anymore. > Now it would be the time where I would have my coffee and a nice smoke. But > Fuck no I can’t I quitt a week ago. fuck right now Mr. Smoke is bugging me > pretty badly. I am running around the apartment like a jojo looking for > smokes. Didn’t find any but didn’t made me feeling better. > Just that I look for them makes me even more upset. I should know by now > better than that. But that urge is killing me. > No youf frickend smoke you are not getting me. I hate that. why can’t I take > that of my brain and think of something else. > No No no fucking way that I will have a fucking smoke. Not yet and never. > I am a FWD and I am proud of it I want to keep it that way. > Carmen – cursing like hell ( hope that doesn’t become a new habbit) > One week, four days, 17 hours, 9 minutes and 39 seconds. 410 cigarettes not > smoked, saving $106.60. Life saved: 1 day, 10 hours, 10 minutes.

  Response:

  Carmen—-you know you don’t WANT to smoke.  If you did you wouldn’t be here. What you want is the cravings to end.  Smoking will only postpone them. Only time will cure them. Give it more time,   you will never regret it. Chris f3as3 Off of smokes for  One month, one day, 9 hours, 25 minutes and 53 seconds. 627 stinky cigarettes not smoked, saving $109.87. Life saved: 2 days, 4 hours, 15 minutes. It’s my meter and I’m sticking to it! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –

  Response:

  Carmen – you are doing fantastic – like Diane said deep breathes – drink water – chat with us.  Just keep strong.  It’s nearly 2 WW’s Carmen – now tell me that’s not exciting??? Keep cursing if it helps and go tell Mr. Smoke to Fuck off:) Damn, now you have me cursing.. Beth One month, one week, one day, 4 hours, 45 minutes and 12 seconds. 1336 cigarettes not smoked, saving $327.55. Life saved: 4 days, 15 hours, 20 minutes. "> – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Carmen – cursing like hell ( hope that doesn’t become a new habbit) > One week, four days, 17 hours, 9 minutes and 39 seconds. 410 cigarettes not > smoked, saving $106.60. Life saved: 1 day, 10 hours, 10 minutes.

  Response:

  I’m glad that you’re already feeling better Carmen.  It helps us remember that a craving is just that, a craving.  and even though it feels like they never will, they do pass after a few minutes (hours! lol!).  You are doing awesome, and you almost have another W to add to your collection!  Keep at it. : ) Jo Three months, three weeks, two days, 3 hours, 6 minutes and 8 seconds spent free. 1597 times I didn’t cave, $597.36 not gone up in smoke. Life gratefully saved: 5 days, 13 hours, 5 minutes. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Thanks Amy, > what a nice thought just get through today. Yes, tomorrow is another day. > This day was pretty screwed anyway. And I don’t think smoking would change > that. Smoking would not get the stupied bank of my neck, it would not do the > shopping for me either, I don’t even think it would relax me at all any > longer. So hell what am I looking for smokes? > Better pack my gym back and go for a run. > Carmen- cooled off a little bit. > Just for today Carmen. > Just get through today. > Amy > 2 Weeks 5 Days 16 Hours 58 Minutes 43 Seconds. 197 cigs. > 22 Hrs 59 Mins 31 Secs doing other stuff.

  Response:

  Just for today Carmen. Just get through today. Amy 2 Weeks 5 Days 16 Hours 58 Minutes 43 Seconds. 197 cigs. 22 Hrs 59 Mins 31 Secs doing other stuff.

  Response:

  Thanks Amy, what a nice thought just get through today. Yes, tomorrow is another day. This day was pretty screwed anyway. And I don’t think smoking would change that. Smoking would not get the stupied bank of my neck, it would not do the shopping for me either, I don’t even think it would relax me at all any longer. So hell what am I looking for smokes? Better pack my gym back and go for a run. Carmen- cooled off a little bit.

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Just for today Carmen. > Just get through today. > Amy > 2 Weeks 5 Days 16 Hours 58 Minutes 43 Seconds. 197 cigs. > 22 Hrs 59 Mins 31 Secs doing other stuff.

  Response:

  Hang in there.  You are at a rough stage.  Just remember – it will get better, nad it will be worth all of the work you are doing.  :-) Take some deep breaths – In to the slow count of 3, hold to the count of 3, and out to the count of 3.  Drink some water.  Think about what you want to buy with your quit savings.  Imagine your lungs getting all pink and healthy.  And repeat to yourself "I can do this".  :-) Diane M.

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I woke up after sleeping the whole day. Feel like I didn’t sleep at all, > woke up many tiimes and felt like smoking but forced myself to stay in bed > and sleep again. I work nights this week and I am not used to it anymore. > Now it would be the time where I would have my coffee and a nice smoke. But > Fuck no I can’t I quitt a week ago. fuck right now Mr. Smoke is bugging me > pretty badly. I am running around the apartment like a jojo looking for > smokes. Didn’t find any but didn’t made me feeling better. > Just that I look for them makes me even more upset. I should know by now > better than that. But that urge is killing me. > No youf frickend smoke you are not getting me. I hate that. why can’t I take > that of my brain and think of something else. > No No no fucking way that I will have a fucking smoke. Not yet and never. > I am a FWD and I am proud of it I want to keep it that way. > Carmen – cursing like hell ( hope that doesn’t become a new habbit) > One week, four days, 17 hours, 9 minutes and 39 seconds. 410 cigarettes not > smoked, saving $106.60. Life saved: 1 day, 10 hours, 10 minutes.

  Response:

  I woke up after sleeping the whole day. Feel like I didn’t sleep at all, woke up many tiimes and felt like smoking but forced myself to stay in bed and sleep again. I work nights this week and I am not used to it anymore. Now it would be the time where I would have my coffee and a nice smoke. But Fuck no I can’t I quitt a week ago. fuck right now Mr. Smoke is bugging me pretty badly. I am running around the apartment like a jojo looking for smokes. Didn’t find any but didn’t made me feeling better. Just that I look for them makes me even more upset. I should know by now better than that. But that urge is killing me. No youf frickend smoke you are not getting me. I hate that. why can’t I take that of my brain and think of something else. No No no fucking way that I will have a fucking smoke. Not yet and never. I am a FWD and I am proud of it I want to keep it that way. Carmen – cursing like hell ( hope that doesn’t become a new habbit) One week, four days, 17 hours, 9 minutes and 39 seconds. 410 cigarettes not smoked, saving $106.60. Life saved: 1 day, 10 hours, 10 minutes.

  Response:

  No comments Depression Recovery
  
  

• Not as depressed……

  Question:

  …as I was 3 or 4 days ago. This is mainly due to this groups’ amazing optimism and positive vibe. It helps just reading everyone elses’ ….stuff. A week or ten days ago I was feeling utterly depressed and found myself lurking around alt.support.depression. Have you been to this place? Support? It was full of posts like; "…my cats’ tail fell off…oh well" "…I might go the mall one day" "..I have a red thing on my ear now" "..I got my goldfish Chris on sale because  he didn’t have a dorsal fin, but he seems happy" "..my pants are full…now what" "..its’ OK if I get leprossy, I have plenty  of velcro.." OK, I made those up, but I found the place completely depressing. There wasn’t much support at all. I’ve made a step forward by realizing it’s not 80% depression and 20% stopping smoking. It’s 20% stopping smoking and 80% how effectively I deal with it…and 10 % caffeine. Thanks for helping me deal with it. the real me

  Response:

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->…as I was 3 or 4 days ago. >This is mainly due to this groups’ amazing optimism >and positive vibe. >It helps just reading everyone elses’ ….stuff. >A week or ten days ago I was feeling utterly >depressed and found myself lurking around >alt.support.depression. >Have you been to this place? Support? >It was full of posts like; >"…my cats’ tail fell off…oh well" >"…I might go the mall one day" >"..I have a red thing on my ear now" >"..I got my goldfish Chris on sale because > he didn’t have a dorsal fin, but he seems happy" >"..my pants are full…now what" >"..its’ OK if I get leprossy, I have plenty > of velcro.." >OK, I made those up, but I found the place completely >depressing. There wasn’t much support at all.

  I’d also suggest you look at alt.support.depression.recovery, and/or alt.support.depression.recovery.sanctuary if you are interested in support for depression. They are off shoots of a.s.d. made by people who found they weren’t getting the support they needed in asd (The .sanctuary one is moderated and thus no trolls/spam)These groups are small, and one has a resident lite troll that everyone ignores, but they can be helpful. (Though with any depression site you have to factor in that the tone of the group may not be all sunshine and roses cause the people on it are indeed depressed) I see below you changed the percentages on the degree of depression so you may not need these ngs. Just thought I’d let you and others know that there is decent support out there if you know where to find it. I’m so glad that you are feeling better, and thrilled to see the real you posting. This ng has made a huge difference in me own quit, and i hope it does the same for you. It does get better. Red Robin, who by the way posts at the above ngs in case you couldn’t tell.

  Response:

  "The Real Me (formerly ‘Possibly Me’ and ‘not me’)" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> alt.support.depression. > Have you been to this place? Support? > It was full of posts like; > "…my cats’ tail fell off…oh well" > "…I might go the mall one day" > "..I have a red thing on my ear now" > "..I got my goldfish Chris on sale because >  he didn’t have a dorsal fin, but he seems happy" > "..my pants are full…now what" > "..its’ OK if I get leprossy, I have plenty >  of velcro.." > OK, I made those up, but I found the place completely > depressing. There wasn’t much support at all.

  Shit! I was just LMAO and ready to go read for myself! LOL! Your doing great- what you are experiencing is very normal- even for people who dont have depression! You will be *SO* glad you persevered when you find out how liberating it is to not be a slave to this addiction. It defies description, but you’ll know it when you feel it- and it doesn’t take long to start kicking in! Just hang on tight and make the most of this group. Read heaps and post heaps. Its compulsory, and you have a lot of catching up to do Its going to be hard to follow your posts if your nick keeps changing…..and how am I to know if you’re a girl or a boy??? Such things are of the utmost importance you know! all the best! GG. <- a girl. Duh!

  Response:

  I was totally ROFLing myself.  Humor is good.  I just hope that no one from the original depression NG sees this.  It might get them really depressed. Unless, of course, they have a sense of humor.  Although when you are depressed like I’ve been it’s pretty hard to see yourself out of that wet paper bag you’re in at times. It’s nice to see you have found your sense of humor, Real Me (formerly ‘Possibly Me’ and ‘not me’). GG is right!  You really need a name. Kim

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "The Real Me (formerly ‘Possibly Me’ and ‘not me’)" > alt.support.depression. > Have you been to this place? Support? > It was full of posts like; > "…my cats’ tail fell off…oh well" > "…I might go the mall one day" > "..I have a red thing on my ear now" > "..I got my goldfish Chris on sale because >  he didn’t have a dorsal fin, but he seems happy" > "..my pants are full…now what" > "..its’ OK if I get leprossy, I have plenty >  of velcro.." > OK, I made those up, but I found the place completely > depressing. There wasn’t much support at all. > Shit! I was just LMAO and ready to go read for myself! LOL! > Your doing great- what you are experiencing is very normal- even > for people who dont have depression! > You will be *SO* glad you persevered when you find out how > liberating it is to not be a slave to this addiction. It defies > description, but you’ll know it when you feel it- and it doesn’t > take long to start kicking in! Just hang on tight and make the > most of this group. Read heaps and post heaps. Its compulsory, > and you have a lot of catching up to do > Its going to be hard to follow your posts if your nick keeps > changing…..and how am I to know if you’re a girl or a boy??? > Such things are of the utmost importance you know! > all the best! > > GG. <- a girl. Duh!

  Response:

  Your sense of humor is going to help you through this process.  Laughter is a great quit aid! Thanks for the laugh . . . ep  dof "The Real Me (formerly ‘Possibly Me’ and ‘not me’)"

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> …as I was 3 or 4 days ago. > This is mainly due to this groups’ amazing optimism > and positive vibe. > It helps just reading everyone elses’ ….stuff. > A week or ten days ago I was feeling utterly > depressed and found myself lurking around > alt.support.depression. > Have you been to this place? Support? > It was full of posts like; > "…my cats’ tail fell off…oh well" > "…I might go the mall one day" > "..I have a red thing on my ear now" > "..I got my goldfish Chris on sale because >  he didn’t have a dorsal fin, but he seems happy" > "..my pants are full…now what" > "..its’ OK if I get leprossy, I have plenty >  of velcro.." > OK, I made those up, but I found the place completely > depressing. There wasn’t much support at all. > I’ve made a step forward by realizing it’s not > 80% depression and 20% stopping smoking. > It’s 20% stopping smoking and 80% how effectively > I deal with it…and 10 % caffeine. > Thanks for helping me deal with it. > the real me

  Response:

  No comments Depression Recovery
  
  

• cigs. i want one. i think.

  Question:

  Face it Red, you don’t want just one you want to smoke. You wanna smoke smoke smoke smoke. That will fix everything. I’m tired of quiting. All I think about is not smoking cause I wanna smoke. I wake up in the morning and have to think about not smoking. I take a break at work and force myself not to smoke. Damn! When will this end. So why’d ya quit in the first place? Join the gang. I had a really really bad day 2 days ago. From 2pm afterlunch till I drove home from work. Good days, bad days. Last night was our first night of summer volleyball. 4 outdoor sand courts, music and beer. Listened to my co-player and gf talk last year about "smoking dreams". I thought about how distant quiting was. They did it but I couldn’t. Gawd! How could I stay a day without smokes. Don’t you think I walked onto the courts with my ego taped to my forehead last night! I don’t smoke and neither do you. Smoking is one of the things in your life that has been repaired. Don’t break it again. cw btw- i had a really good afternoon yesterday. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->i’ve been craving really bad the last day or two. its an odd kind of >craving as it is tied in with my depression. i’m slinking into the pit >and for some reason my brain thinks well, since my life is going so >crappy i might as well smoke to top it off. As well as seeing it as a >"healthy" way to punish myself. >Doesn’t really matter my reasons. All I know is that I really do want >a cigarette lately. I’m too afraid to have one cause I know that I’ll >be back smoking a pack a day and I don’t want that. If I could just >have one i prolly would, which just depresses me further. But I know I >can’t. >I don’t know. I want a cig, I don’t want one. >Red Robin

  Response:

  TODAY I WILL NOT SMOKE! NOT EVEN ONE PUFF 1 IS TOO MANY 1,000,000 IS NOT ENOUGH SFB’RS MUST CONQUER. HANG TOUGH. PAT CAVANAUGH – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I don’t know. I want a cig, I don’t want one. > Red Robin

  Response:

    Do not make me come up there young lady. Paul    SFB

  Response:

  I want one too, but I’ll resist because I want to grow old.  I figure I’ll always want one….. -Alan

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> i’ve been craving really bad the last day or two. its an odd kind of > craving as it is tied in with my depression. i’m slinking into the pit > and for some reason my brain thinks well, since my life is going so > crappy i might as well smoke to top it off. As well as seeing it as a > "healthy" way to punish myself. > Doesn’t really matter my reasons. All I know is that I really do want > a cigarette lately. I’m too afraid to have one cause I know that I’ll > be back smoking a pack a day and I don’t want that. If I could just > have one i prolly would, which just depresses me further. But I know I > can’t. > I don’t know. I want a cig, I don’t want one. > Red Robin

  Response:

  Hi Robin, Don’t you dare smoke, you have come to far to blow it now. I have been pretty bleak the past week, feeling so horrible.  I am at 9 weeks tomorrow.  And I think we just have to go through it. Bear it and wait for it to pass. I try to think about how much I hated smoking when I smoked, how much I wanted to quit, and also about how much fighting to actually do it. Hope you are doing better tonight. Cathy

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> i’ve been craving really bad the last day or two. its an odd kind of > craving as it is tied in with my depression. i’m slinking into the pit > and for some reason my brain thinks well, since my life is going so > crappy i might as well smoke to top it off. As well as seeing it as a > "healthy" way to punish myself. > Doesn’t really matter my reasons. All I know is that I really do want > a cigarette lately. I’m too afraid to have one cause I know that I’ll > be back smoking a pack a day and I don’t want that. If I could just > have one i prolly would, which just depresses me further. But I know I > can’t. > I don’t know. I want a cig, I don’t want one. > Red Robin

  Response:

  Sometimes it helps to re-read some of your earlier posts.  It helps you remember how much you went through to get to where you are.  And you DON’T want to start over, do you? Never starting over again! Chris f3as3 Off of nicotine for  One week, four days, 10 hours, 48 minutes and 59 seconds. 229 stinky cigarettes not smoked, saving $40.08. Life saved: 19 hours, 5 minutes.& I intend to enjoy every minute of it!! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >i’ve been craving really bad the last day or two. its an odd kind of >craving as it is tied in with my depression. i’m slinking into the pit >and for some reason my brain thinks well, since my life is going so >crappy i might as well smoke to top it off. As well as seeing it as a >"healthy" way to punish myself. >Doesn’t really matter my reasons. All I know is that I really do want >a cigarette lately. I’m too afraid to have one cause I know that I’ll >be back smoking a pack a day and I don’t want that. If I could just >have one i prolly would, which just depresses me further. But I know I >can’t. >I don’t know. I want a cig, I don’t want one. >Red Robin

  Response:

  Hi Robin

  : : i’ve been craving really bad the last day or two. its an odd kind of : craving as it is tied in with my depression. i’m slinking into the pit :and for some reason my brain thinks well, since my life is going so :crappy i might as well smoke to top it off. As well as seeing it as a :"healthy" way to punish myself. oesn’t really matter my reasons. All I know is that I really do want :a cigarette lately. I’m too afraid to have one cause I know that I’ll :be back smoking a pack a day and I don’t want that. If I could just :have one i prolly would, which just depresses me further. But I know I :can’t. : :I don’t know. I want a cig, I don’t want one. : : Red Robin you’re down at the moment, and what did we always do when we were down? We smoked, and imagined it made us feel better. It didn’t, the only thing it did was to relieve the withdrawal created by the cigarette we smoked earlier. When we get low it is easy to fall back into old patterns of behaviour that we thought made us feel better. They didn’t, and they still won’t now. It will only make you feel even worse. If you get through this without smoking, you’ll have that lovely warm glow of achievement! If you smoke, you’ll end up re-addicted and the cigarettes may well be a lot more persistent than the depression. I’m talking through experience here! My best way out of these low moods has always been exercise – a walk, a swim, a cycle;  whatever it takes to get the adrenaline going again and shake off the blues. Good luck and keep going, we’ll be thinking of you. Liz

  Response:

  > I hope this depression can get settled for you– it’s heartbreaking to see how > some folks struggle with this. > Hugs, > elle

  I think it’s heartbreaking because we’ve been there, in some form or another. I see depression expressed in so many ways (and at different levels) in quits, and experienced it in my own way in several attempts and even in this one during the first several months. It’s a huge mental (and perhaps physiological? any doctors here?) hurdle to leap… getting by the constant imagery of smoking/cigarettes once it sets in. I was able to substitute with activity, and eventually, "doing something" became the habitual response to that overwhelming urge. I hope you will also find your way out, or over your hurdle, Robin. It’s not easy but it CAN be done. MaryO 10 days away from DOF

  Response:

  - Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > i’ve been craving really bad the last day or two. its an odd kind of > craving as it is tied in with my depression. i’m slinking into the pit > and for some reason my brain thinks well, since my life is going so > crappy i might as well smoke to top it off. As well as seeing it as a > "healthy" way to punish myself. > Doesn’t really matter my reasons. All I know is that I really do want > a cigarette lately. I’m too afraid to have one cause I know that I’ll > be back smoking a pack a day and I don’t want that. If I could just > have one i prolly would, which just depresses me further. But I know I > can’t. > I don’t know. I want a cig, I don’t want one. > Red Robin

  Robin,  You DON’T want a cig. Because you don’t want to have gone through what you’ve  gone through up to this point and have to repeat it all over again later.  Once you smoke that first one you will wish you hadn’t.  You will feel even more depressed by this evening than you feel right now not smoking.  You will really, really be in the bottom of the pit over this if you bust your quit.  I can just about bet my life on that.  Now do you WANT to feel even worse?  Would you LIKE to make yourself more depressed?  I don’t think you do.  Smoking will NOT make you feel better, it will within a few hours, make you feel much, much worse. Please remember that.  Hang onto that thought.  It’s not a guess.  It’s a certainty.  At least, I’m certain of it.  I’ve been there and done that too many times. Just ride it out.  You can do it. — *Hugs* BinnieBee – HOF         %%       (—-)      ( >__< )      ^^ ~~ ^^      ~f3as3~

  Response:

  When you sit back and really think about it, I don’t think a cig is what you need.  Don’t let the idea that a cig will help get into your noggin.  You, like the rest of us addicts, know that isn’t true.  Stay strong, Robin.  Smoking isn’t the problem but it will be if you light up again! Sally – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->i’ve been craving really bad the last day or two. its an odd kind of >craving as it is tied in with my depression. i’m slinking into the pit >and for some reason my brain thinks well, since my life is going so >crappy i might as well smoke to top it off. As well as seeing it as a >"healthy" way to punish myself. >Doesn’t really matter my reasons. All I know is that I really do want >a cigarette lately. I’m too afraid to have one cause I know that I’ll >be back smoking a pack a day and I don’t want that. If I could just >have one i prolly would, which just depresses me further. But I know I >can’t. >I don’t know. I want a cig, I don’t want one. >Red Robin

  Response:

  Hi RR,  I don’t remember where you are in your quit but I’ve had some moments like you are describing.  They are hard to take.  I really understand that.  But please don’t put one in your mouth.  I know that sounds simple but it’s the only thing that works for me when it gets bad. And hey,  I want one too.   I’m not far enough away from them yet to decided to smoke.  I just know I don’t want to smoke ever again and the only way to do that is not to do it.  Hang in there.  Try to focus and remember why you are quit. Kim

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> i’ve been craving really bad the last day or two. its an odd kind of > craving as it is tied in with my depression. i’m slinking into the pit > and for some reason my brain thinks well, since my life is going so > crappy i might as well smoke to top it off. As well as seeing it as a > "healthy" way to punish myself. > Doesn’t really matter my reasons. All I know is that I really do want > a cigarette lately. I’m too afraid to have one cause I know that I’ll > be back smoking a pack a day and I don’t want that. If I could just > have one i prolly would, which just depresses me further. But I know I > can’t. > I don’t know. I want a cig, I don’t want one. > Red Robin

  Response:

  Good Morning Red Robin – I hope you are feeling better than when you posted earlier.  I hope you got past those moments ok and that you are doing well. Remember,  the cravings will pass whether you smoke or not.  Better to still be a non-smoker after the craving.  :-) Hang in there!  You are doing great!  Hope you are feeling better soon. ~August   f3as3 http://www.quitbuddies.org/frogs.html I quit smoking at 9:00 a.m. on Oct 27th, 2001. That’s seven months, two days, 22 hours, and 3 minutes since I last smoked a cigarette.  1504 cigarettes not smoked, saving me $218.14! I’m kickin’ BUTT!

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> i’ve been craving really bad the last day or two. its an odd kind of > craving as it is tied in with my depression. i’m slinking into the pit > and for some reason my brain thinks well, since my life is going so > crappy i might as well smoke to top it off. As well as seeing it as a > "healthy" way to punish myself. > Doesn’t really matter my reasons. All I know is that I really do want > a cigarette lately. I’m too afraid to have one cause I know that I’ll > be back smoking a pack a day and I don’t want that. If I could just > have one i prolly would, which just depresses me further. But I know I > can’t. > I don’t know. I want a cig, I don’t want one. > Red Robin

  Response:

  [posted and mailed] Red Robin opened all of our eyes with this: > i’ve been craving really bad the last day or two. its an odd kind of > craving as it is tied in with my depression. i’m slinking into the pit > and for some reason my brain thinks well, since my life is going so > crappy i might as well smoke to top it off. As well as seeing it as a > "healthy" way to punish myself.

  There’s that advanced ever learning (specific to you) junkie thinking. It sucks, don’t it? > Doesn’t really matter my reasons. All I know is that I really do want > a cigarette lately. I’m too afraid to have one cause I know that I’ll > be back smoking a pack a day and I don’t want that. If I could just > have one i prolly would, which just depresses me further. But I know I > can’t.

  Well, you wouldn’t because you don’t smoke! Don’t allow yourself to ‘go there’. When you start this sort of self-destructive thinking, cut it off early. The nicodemon plays very dirty pool. S/he does the best work while you are down. > I don’t know. I want a cig, I don’t want one. > Red Robin

  I forget where you’re at. Robin. But I know that you’re at least past the physical phase of this addiction/recovery. Now it’s you against the nicodemon. It’s all behavioral from now on. If you want to be successful and more at peace, you have to change your thinking. You don’t smoke anymore. Don’t even let it be an option. Try looking at it this way: Smoking is a self-sustaining addiction. You are no longer physically addicted to smoking. You no longer smoke. Now why would you want to start up such a killer disgusting habit? Repeat after me: I don’t smoke, because I don’t smoke. I don’t smoke, because I don’t smoke. I don’t smoke, because I don’t smoke. I don’t smoke, because I don’t smoke. I don’t smoke, because I don’t smoke. I don’t smoke, because I don’t smoke. I don’t smoke, because I don’t smoke. I don’t smoke, because I don’t smoke. Me either Have a nice day -G. 15M or OF+QOF or 1Y+3M… whatever!… I don’t smoke anymore!

  Response:

  Robin, you have to ride this one out.  Remember that these depressions don’t last forever and though you may want one *today* you are not going to be happy about having had one next week.  I know, I know, it’s little consolation when you’re in that pit of "I don’t care" despair but believe me it is NOT worth it. I hope this depression can get settled for you– it’s heartbreaking to see how some folks struggle with this. Hugs, elle – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->i’ve been craving really bad the last day or two. its an odd kind of >craving as it is tied in with my depression. i’m slinking into the pit >and for some reason my brain thinks well, since my life is going so >crappy i might as well smoke to top it off.

  Response:

  > i’ve been craving really bad the last day or two. its an odd kind of > craving as it is tied in with my depression. i’m slinking into the pit > and for some reason my brain thinks well, since my life is going so > crappy i might as well smoke to top it off. As well as seeing it as a > "healthy" way to punish myself.

  I dunno how long ya smoked but I smoked for what seemed like forever. They were always there for me. After funerals they were there for us to stand outside and smoke and talk about the fella that’d died. They stood there beside me, in my pocket, wherever, and were silently supportive. When I was stressed from work and didn’t have anybody to talk to about it for whatever reason, they were there for me. They were there for the long hours I would get to put in over double shifts. They were there for me instead of food sometimes. They were there after a really good meal. They greeted me first thing in the morning with my coffee, and were the last things to touch my lips at night before bed. I’d be surprised to think I wouldn’t miss them. We spent a lot of time together. Good times and bad times we spent together. That’s years of learned behavior to unlearn. It’s not going to be fast or easy, but neither was the learning process, the years of getting used to having them there, or thinking that I had them there for whatever I needed them for. Yeah, I miss ‘em. I could go back now just talking about them… but it’d be stupid of me. People go back to spouses who abuse them, smack ‘em around, beat the heXX out of ‘em all the time because ‘they’re there for them.’ Because ‘they don’t mean to hurt me,’ because ‘I musta deserved it.’ or ‘I was asking for it.’ Sorta like those cigarettes. I’m done with this abusive relationship. I’ve put up with them beating the snot outta my lungs and my health for the last time. They’re not good for me. It’s not fair to my family, my new nephew, my friends to slowly kill myself just cuz I think it’ll all be better if I go back to the friend I always had who beat me up. Yeah, I miss ‘em too. That don’t mean it’s a good thing though, just a measure of how deep my unhealthy relationship was/is, and how long it’ll take to get over. Ask anyone in here who has quit long-term abusing themselves, and allowing the cigarettes to abuse them, if they regret breaking up with their hot-headed, filter-bottomed friends. *shrug* I suspect it’s hard, but I hope it’s worth it. Cuz honestly? I’m tired of going back to the same old date that keeps beating the shXX outta me. — Rich G. http://www.geocities.com/simplerichg/index.html "You can’t go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it’s just a cage."         — (Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad)

  Response:

  I go through that too, Robin.  Then I think about the long-term.  The packs, the cartons, and all that shit associated with what "just one" leads to.  The urge goes away. Yep, it sucks sometimes.  I’m an addict.  Could be worse.  Could be a PRACTICING addict. Lee — 4w 1d 6h smoke-free, 1,741 cigs not smoked, $261.15 saved. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > i’ve been craving really bad the last day or two. its an odd kind of > craving as it is tied in with my depression. i’m slinking into the pit > and for some reason my brain thinks well, since my life is going so > crappy i might as well smoke to top it off. As well as seeing it as a > "healthy" way to punish myself. > Doesn’t really matter my reasons. All I know is that I really do want > a cigarette lately. I’m too afraid to have one cause I know that I’ll > be back smoking a pack a day and I don’t want that. If I could just > have one i prolly would, which just depresses me further. But I know I > can’t. > I don’t know. I want a cig, I don’t want one. > Red Robin

  Response:

  i’ve been craving really bad the last day or two. its an odd kind of craving as it is tied in with my depression. i’m slinking into the pit and for some reason my brain thinks well, since my life is going so crappy i might as well smoke to top it off. As well as seeing it as a "healthy" way to punish myself. Doesn’t really matter my reasons. All I know is that I really do want a cigarette lately. I’m too afraid to have one cause I know that I’ll be back smoking a pack a day and I don’t want that. If I could just have one i prolly would, which just depresses me further. But I know I can’t. I don’t know. I want a cig, I don’t want one. Red Robin

  Response:

  In alt.support.stop-smoking, on 30 May 2002, Red Robin announced: > I don’t know. I want a cig, I don’t want one.

  Hang in there RR, you’re doing so great! Look at that meter of yours!  Post it here for us all to see! Don’t be depressed, you should be proud of how well you are doing – the more you think about how depressed you are, the more depressed you will be, but if you instead think of how great you are doing, you can give yourself the moral encouragement. No matter what else is going on in your life, whether you smoke or not won’t change it, if anything, smoking will just make things worse, because as you know and you said, you *can’t* have just one – if you could you wouldn’t be here, so smoking will just depress you further rather than making you feel better. Hang in there, you can do it! Regards OgO — my Quitting smoking page: http://qjc.cjb.net/quit.html Quit Stats home page: http://qjc.cjb.net/quitstats.html -=- Current version 1.2.20.16 – released 20/02/2002 -=- (—) f3as3     wun – OF+1/3 – asdfg (ok, I made that last one up Since 1/01/01 at 10:31:05 AM, OgO has not smoked for: 1 year, 4 months, 4 weeks, 1 day, 10 hours, 36 minutes and 10 seconds.   10,294 cigarettes not smoked, AUD $3,187.12 saved, life saved 1M 5D 17:52:02.

  Response:

  No comments Depression Recovery
  
  

• What things has helped you to cope with depression/BP

  Question:

  Having someone close for support has helped a lot.  My wife seems to know when I am having a lot of trouble even when it is not so obvious to me.  She works with me so that I can remain aware of where I am at with the BP on a daily basis.  Having her there to help me is the main reason I am still here. Jim Please have a look at my web site – http://mybipolar.tripod.com/jim/

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> What things have you found help with your depression? > — > LyndaNP > I do not respond to personal attacks. Consider the source.

  Response:

  >Having someone close for support has helped a lot.  My wife seems to know >when I am having a lot of trouble even when it is not so obvious to me.  She >works with me so that I can remain aware of where I am at with the BP on a >daily basis.  Having her there to help me is the main reason I am still >here.

  It’s nice to have someone in real life who understands.

  Response:

  nothing. sorry. nothing changes a thing m >What things have you found help with your depression?

  –

  No comments Depression Recovery
  
  

• Life after depression

  Question:

  A couple summers ago I was recovering from a profound depression. I had been whacked up on meds, unemployable, dropped out of university, pill and booze addicted, nearly homeless and terrified. I was only 21. I lived through a serious suicide attempt by the blessed dialysis machine and started to see that I would have to find some way to live -that suicide wasn’t an option. I was real shaken and sad -you know how it is trying to recover from the shambles of depression? Re-build the life. Get into the world again and all that was terrifying. I moved to a new city, got back into school and had no friends. I had the internet and found this group. I became a regular lurker and never posted once. I just was so relieved to see that their were others with the same fucked up depression and I enjoyed the comedy of all the fighting between posters. I found hope. Since that time I have been slowly re-building my life. I guess I want to say thanks to all who share on this site and to anyone who is struggling- there is hope. I got my life back. I’m 23 now and almost graduated. I just got a job in Social Services and I’m just real grateful to be back from the dead. I see my shrink frequently and am on Celexa. I found a med that works for me. I am sober. And I feel free. I know that depression will come in and out my life and I accept that. Thanks to all for being a puzzle piece in my recovery. Amelia

  Response:

  - Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > A couple summers ago I was recovering from a profound depression. I > had been whacked up on meds, unemployable, dropped out of university, > pill and booze addicted, nearly homeless and terrified. I was only 21. > I lived through a serious suicide attempt by the blessed dialysis > machine and started to see that I would have to find some way to live > -that suicide wasn’t an option. I was real shaken and sad -you know > how it is trying to recover from the shambles of depression? Re-build > the life. Get into the world again and all that was terrifying. > I moved to a new city, got back into school and had no friends. I had > the internet and found this group. I became a regular lurker and never > posted once. I just was so relieved to see that their were others with > the same fucked up depression and I enjoyed the comedy of all the > fighting between posters. I found hope. Since that time I have been > slowly re-building my life. I guess I want to say thanks to all who > share on this site and to anyone who is struggling- there is hope. I > got my life back. I’m 23 now and almost graduated. I just got a job in > Social Services and I’m just real grateful to be back from the dead. > I see my shrink frequently and am on Celexa. I found a med that works > for me. I am sober. And I feel free. I know that depression will come > in and out my life and I accept that. Thanks to all for being a puzzle > piece in my recovery. > Amelia

  Good for you, Amelia!  I’m glad you found some entertainment value during your period of lurking.  It’s such a hard road, some folks never get to the point you’re at now, so, congratulations and keep well. Deborah

  Response:

  hi Amelia… a very inspiring story that can serve to remind us that there is hope and much more out there. Continued good health to you. — regards, Compucat  >^+^<

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> A couple summers ago I was recovering from a profound depression. I > had been whacked up on meds, unemployable, dropped out of university, > pill and booze addicted, nearly homeless and terrified. I was only 21. > I lived through a serious suicide attempt by the blessed dialysis > machine and started to see that I would have to find some way to live > -that suicide wasn’t an option. I was real shaken and sad -you know > how it is trying to recover from the shambles of depression? Re-build > the life. Get into the world again and all that was terrifying. > I moved to a new city, got back into school and had no friends. I had > the internet and found this group. I became a regular lurker and never > posted once. I just was so relieved to see that their were others with > the same fucked up depression and I enjoyed the comedy of all the > fighting between posters. I found hope. Since that time I have been > slowly re-building my life. I guess I want to say thanks to all who > share on this site and to anyone who is struggling- there is hope. I > got my life back. I’m 23 now and almost graduated. I just got a job in > Social Services and I’m just real grateful to be back from the dead. > I see my shrink frequently and am on Celexa. I found a med that works > for me. I am sober. And I feel free. I know that depression will come > in and out my life and I accept that. Thanks to all for being a puzzle > piece in my recovery. > Amelia

  Response:

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > A couple summers ago I was recovering from a profound depression. I > had been whacked up on meds, unemployable, dropped out of university, > pill and booze addicted, nearly homeless and terrified. I was only 21. > I lived through a serious suicide attempt by the blessed dialysis > machine and started to see that I would have to find some way to live > -that suicide wasn’t an option. I was real shaken and sad -you know > how it is trying to recover from the shambles of depression? Re-build > the life. Get into the world again and all that was terrifying. > I moved to a new city, got back into school and had no friends. I had > the internet and found this group. I became a regular lurker and never > posted once. I just was so relieved to see that their were others with > the same fucked up depression and I enjoyed the comedy of all the > fighting between posters. I found hope. Since that time I have been > slowly re-building my life. I guess I want to say thanks to all who > share on this site and to anyone who is struggling- there is hope. I > got my life back. I’m 23 now and almost graduated. I just got a job in > Social Services and I’m just real grateful to be back from the dead. > I see my shrink frequently and am on Celexa. I found a med that works > for me. I am sober. And I feel free. I know that depression will come > in and out my life and I accept that. Thanks to all for being a puzzle > piece in my recovery. > Amelia

  Thanks amelia .. as somebody who is only a year out of my life-threatening depression (and now seeing a therapist, taking depakote and wellbutrin, working again at a new university and in a new city), it is good to hear your story … though i think others think i’m fine (and most never knew, so don’t even suspect) – i don’t always believe it is true now or will be true tomorrow thanks. d

  Response:

  Wonderful to hear of recovery – enjoy. Squiggles — Truth has become a commodity.              - Squiggles

  Response:

  No comments Depression Recovery
  
  

• Springtime is the best time to have ECT

  Question:

  > Spring is the best time to have ECT done. That way you come out of depression > fully from the ECT and its also springtime. You feel great. I like spring and > summer the most anyway Im a warm weather lover. ECT done in the spring equals > rebirth…recovery from severe illness.

  Eric I am sure you speak your truth to the best of your ability.  I wish you the best of luck with your ECT…..

  Response:

  > > Spring is the best time to have ECT done. That way you come out of depression > fully from the ECT and its also springtime. You feel great. I like spring and > summer the most anyway Im a warm weather lover. ECT done in the spring equals > rebirth…recovery from severe illness. > Eric I am sure you speak your truth to the best of your ability.  I wish > you the best of luck with your ECT…..

  – Yeah, Eric – I’ve always believed that you have a good heart; that’s all that counts in life. Squiggles

  Response:

  Makes sense to me… what better time to have the curtains pulled back from your eyes. regards, Compucat  >^+^< – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Spring is the best time to have ECT done. That way you come out of depression > fully from the ECT and its also springtime. You feel great. I like spring and > summer the most anyway Im a warm weather lover. ECT done in the spring equals > rebirth…recovery from severe illness. > Eric > Im insane because psychiatry made me this way > Steroids caused my depression…prednisone should be used conservatively

  Response:

  No comments Depression Recovery
  
  

• Get it/Got it

  Question:

  Hi, So ester never answered a single question i posted yesterday. She must be to busy with selling some useless junk or a visit to her starvation fat farm on the dead sea or where ever, to take time to answer a question or two. She did ask for questions didn’t she? That must have been a lie to promote herself as an authority of some sort. Herbalist, starvationist etc. Oh well, my post today created my second post of the day. As i see fat being the factor in more then heart disease i’ve brought back another blonz.com post to my local paper. Plus a product that has been scammed for more then a few aliments. NOni (see below after trans fat question) Hospital food sets bad example eD BLONZ February 13, 2002 QUESTION: My mother is recovering from a heart bypass operation. While she was improving and still in the hospital, every meal they brought had margarine and an artificial coffee creamer, both containing partially hydrogenated vegetable oil. I was aghast, given what is known and what you have been saying about this ingredient. This is dangerous and makes absolutely no sense. Why would a hospital do this? E.B., Evanston, Ill. ANSWER: It is important for patients to gain strength after surgery, but how disappointing that such foods would be given to a patient who had just undergone heart bypass surgery

  No comments Depression Recovery
  
  

• What's your weakness?

  Question:

  The character trait that makes you buckle or cringe in relationships and social interactions? Squiggles

  Response:

  I roll my eyes all the time and people think I’m being a hateful bitch.

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> The character trait that makes you buckle > or cringe in relationships and social interactions? > Squiggles

  Response:

  > >The character trait that makes you buckle >or cringe in relationships and social interactions? >Squiggles > I’ve been known to come off as a bitch, when in reality, I’m not. > Sharon > He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears. – Michel de Montaigne

  I think mine is vanity – but I’m not sure, it could be pride, or shyness – don’t understand my own emotions sometimes. Squiggles

  Response:

  etched permanently in the ether: >The character trait that makes you buckle >or cringe in relationships and social interactions? >Squiggles

  I talk too much, give too much information and either bore people or confuse them or make them mad at me.   Nancy to email me, remove the Z. administrator/creator/moderator alt.med.fibromyalgia.recovery.info (moderated) alt.support.depression.manic.moderated

  Response:

  > The character trait that makes you buckle > or cringe in relationships and social interactions? > Squiggles>

  always thinking that I should come first.never putting him first.also communication and shyness. Is anyone shy?

  Response:

  > > The character trait that makes you buckle > or cringe in relationships and social interactions? > Squiggles> > always thinking that I should come first.never putting him first.also > communication and shyness. Is anyone shy?

  disproportionately so, to my net presence. Squiggles

  Response:

  > disproportionately so, to my net presence.

   I was just thinking that.loll.but I am not on herefor that reason as much to find people that I can relate to.it helps quite a bit.I can write so well but ever try talking like I write?it never happens that way.

  Response:

  No comments Depression Recovery
  
  

• Day 5 – Barely holding on

  Question:

  lol….I’ll remember my permission slip the next time I wanna slip… Joy

  get a permission slip with 6 AS3 member signatures before you can have a smoke.  Keep posting.  Hang in there. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Amber > I’ve been a recovered smoker for three weeks, three days, 21 hours, 7 > minutes and 28 seconds. 497 cigarettes not smoked, saving $49.76. Life > saved: 1 day, 17 hours, 25 minutes. > Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. > -Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping.  Last night > somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris.  I think I’m losing my > mind. > -Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another patch on. I > must have *really* sensitive skin because yesterdays tore skin off when I > took it off.  I have 4 red, raised welts where my patches were on my body. > (More than you needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey. > Great. > -Holiday Season/Kid’s Birthday Party/Kid’s Xmas party at school. I was 8 > minutes (!) late for the Xmas party meeting at his school and got dirty > looks from the idiots that were on time.  mind thought: ***Go FUCK > yerselves.  I’m here Now.  Consider yerself goddamned honored to get on my > morning adgenda. Couldn’t get a comb through your hair this morning, huh? > Lovely look. really.*** > crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working out well > for > me today.  i’m worried about my past depression problems.  i really hope i > don’t lapse into a funk.  i was hoping this was going to finally be a good > Xmas… > Joy > sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it > to DAY 6

  Response:

  Thanks for the advice.  Nice looking meter, btw Joy 6D+

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – "ok2bwild" >Joy >sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it >to DAY 6 > Like your attitude Joy…  Hey, it could be the adhesive in the patch. The > same thing happens to me whenever I get an IV taped into place.  If the patch > is giving you problems, look into another form of NRT.  As far as the > depression is concerned, talk to your Doc about Welbutrin or some form of > anti-depressant.  I did both Zyban and the inhalers and have been smober for > One month, four days, 10 hours, 55 minutes and 37 seconds. 964 cigarettes not > smoked, saving $173.65. Life saved: 3 days, 8 hours, 20 minutes. > I also have not used an inhaler for approx 2 weeks > Bram

  Response:

  Thanks Chris….I feel a little better today but still look like H*ll. Skinless in Chicago, Joy 6d+

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > unending supply. > There are some days & moments in your quit that you have to hang on with > white knuckles.  That is where this group comes in…..we are here to help > you hang on.  We got you, Joy.  You are going to make it through. > Chris > M+ >Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. >-Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping.  Last night >somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris.  I think I’m losing my >mind. >-Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another patch on. I >must have *really* sensitive skin because yesterdays tore skin off when I >took it off.  I have 4 red, raised welts where my patches were on my body. >(More than you needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey. Great. >-Holiday Season/Kid’s Birthday Party/Kid’s Xmas party at school. I was 8 >minutes (!) late for the Xmas party meeting at his school and got dirty >looks from the idiots that were on time.  mind thought: ***Go FUCK >yerselves.  I’m here Now.  Consider yerself goddamned honored to get on my >morning adgenda. Couldn’t get a comb through your hair this morning, huh? >Lovely look. really.*** >crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working out well for >me today.  i’m worried about my past depression problems.  i really hope i >don’t lapse into a funk.  i was hoping this was going to finally be a good >Xmas… >Joy >sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it >to DAY 6

  Response:

  Hey that’s what people call me in real life!  lolol…Wildwoman… Not sure if I am going to get gum or not.   So far I’m just kinda nervous…not really craving…I think. Looking into antidepressants (WellButrin/Zyban).  Maybe that is what I need more than anything. Joy 6D+

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hey, Wild Woman?  Don’t freak out about the terrible shit that happens in > the day-to-day life of an addict shunning their addiction.  You have come a > long, long way with this.  Five whole days, and sounds like you ARE > determined to make it past this one.  So, take some really, REALLY deep, > cleansing breaths and try to chill a bit.  I know it isn’t easy. Withdrawal > from drugs never is and is never expected to be, right?  We’ve just been > deluding ourselves all these years that "we enjoy smoking" when that is not > the truth at all.  We are addicts.  Not only are we addicts, but we are > addicted to a drug that is said to be harder to get off of than Heroin. So, > we are EXCEPTIONAL people because we ARE beating our addictions! > Now, on the sensible side, get some Nicorette gum.  Don’t try the cold > turkey thing yet, if you are not one of those anti-NRT ppl.  (I have no > problem with ppl that are cold turkey quitters at all, but it’s just way > harder to do than most of us care to manage.)  The gum is good.  I mean, > good as in instant fix, whereas teh patches are slowly and steadily > delivering the nicotine but not a quick fix.  I have found during this quit > (the only one where I have not used patches) that I have been giving myself > much less nicotine than I was getting with the patches.  And I am free to > pop that gum in my mouth anytime I choose.  I AM on Wellbutrin, so my > insurance pays for it, but it is an antidepressant as well as the same as > Zyban, so if you are beginning to feel depressed (perfectly normal for > nicotine withdrawal) you may very well be able to get a script from your > doctor, too. > Hang in there, Joy.  You can do it!  WE can do it!  We just need to all hang > in there together. > *Hugs* > BinnieBee > One month, one week, four days, 21 hours, 37 minutes and 19 seconds. 1257 > cigarettes not smoked, saving $206.78. Life saved: 4 days, 8 hours, 45 > minutes. > Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. > -Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping.  Last night > somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris.  I think I’m losing my > mind. > -Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another patch on. I > must have *really* sensitive skin because yesterdays tore skin off when I > took it off.  I have 4 red, raised welts where my patches were on my body. > (More than you needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey. > Great. > -Holiday Season/Kid’s Birthday Party/Kid’s Xmas party at school. I was 8 > minutes (!) late for the Xmas party meeting at his school and got dirty > looks from the idiots that were on time.  mind thought: ***Go FUCK > yerselves.  I’m here Now.  Consider yerself goddamned honored to get on my > morning adgenda. Couldn’t get a comb through your hair this morning, huh? > Lovely look. really.*** > crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working out well > for > me today.  i’m worried about my past depression problems.  i really hope i > don’t lapse into a funk.  i was hoping this was going to finally be a good > Xmas… > Joy > sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it > to DAY 6

  Response:

  Do you think it’s due to the adhesive or to the amt of nicotine? They were 22mg…I smoked 1 1/2 packs a day.  I have a 14 mg patch laying around somewhere. Still shying away from the patches for a little while longer. Joy 6D+

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> You were right to drop the patches if you are that allergic to them.  They > make great red shiny hot welts on me too.  If you need something to help > you along, get some nicotine gum. > Hold on, and keep reading and posting here. > Alpha

  Response:

  unending supply. There are some days & moments in your quit that you have to hang on with white knuckles.  That is where this group comes in…..we are here to help you hang on.  We got you, Joy.  You are going to make it through. Chris M+ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. >-Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping.  Last night >somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris.  I think I’m losing my >mind. >-Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another patch on.  I >must have *really* sensitive skin because yesterdays tore skin off when I >took it off.  I have 4 red, raised welts where my patches were on my body. >(More than you needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey.  Great. >-Holiday Season/Kid’s Birthday Party/Kid’s Xmas party at school. I was 8 >minutes (!) late for the Xmas party meeting at his school and got dirty >looks from the idiots that were on time.  mind thought: ***Go FUCK >yerselves.  I’m here Now.  Consider yerself goddamned honored to get on my >morning adgenda. Couldn’t get a comb through your hair this morning, huh? >Lovely look. really.*** >crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working out well for >me today.  i’m worried about my past depression problems.  i really hope i >don’t lapse into a funk.  i was hoping this was going to finally be a good >Xmas… >Joy >sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it >to DAY 6

  Response:

  > Joy > sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it > to DAY 6

  another form of NRT — read and post daily! rosie "A woman as she ages, can be beautiful, or she can be  thin."

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. > -Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping.  Last night > somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris.  I think I’m losing my > mind. > -Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another patch on.  I > must have *really* sensitive skin because yesterdays tore skin off when I > took it off.  I have 4 red, raised welts where my patches were on my body. > (More than you needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey. Great. > -Holiday Season/Kid’s Birthday Party/Kid’s Xmas party at school. I was 8 > minutes (!) late for the Xmas party meeting at his school and got dirty > looks from the idiots that were on time.  mind thought: ***Go FUCK > yerselves.  I’m here Now.  Consider yerself goddamned honored to get on my > morning adgenda. Couldn’t get a comb through your hair this morning, huh? > Lovely look. really.*** > crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working out well for > me today.  i’m worried about my past depression problems.  i really hope i > don’t lapse into a funk.  i was hoping this was going to finally be a good > Xmas… > Joy > sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it > to DAY 6

  Response:

  > Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. > -Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping.  Last night > somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris.  I think I’m losing my > mind.

  Yeah, day 5 is a rough one for a lot of us!!  Insomnia and other wacky sleep problems abound!!  Hey, you are in the trenches now, I know, but around day 5 is really the worst you will see.  Just get over this part and you are set to quit forever!! > -Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another patch on.  I > must have *really* sensitive skin because yesterdays tore skin off when I > took it off.  I have 4 red, raised welts where my patches were on my body. > (More than you needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey.  Great.

  Yikes!!  That sounds really bad.  I would not use that patch any more if I was you.  Do whatever you need to do to keep off the smokes, but do not be intimidated if you decide on cold turkey!!  I did the cold turkey route, so I know that the withdrawal is intense but SHORT!!  It won’t last long.  But like I said – if you feel yourself start to slip, use whatever aids are necessary.  Just don’t blow it now!! > -Holiday Season/Kid’s Birthday Party/Kid’s Xmas party at school. I was 8 > minutes (!) late for the Xmas party meeting at his school and got dirty > looks from the idiots that were on time.  mind thought: ***Go FUCK > yerselves.  I’m here Now.  Consider yerself goddamned honored to get on my > morning adgenda. Couldn’t get a comb through your hair this morning, huh? > Lovely look. really.***

  AWESOME!!  I love the Withdrawal Attitude!!  Go Kick so Xmas Ass for your Kid!! Next time, just tell them that all of AS3 sez to Piss Off!! > crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working out well for > me today.  i’m worried about my past depression problems.  i really hope i > don’t lapse into a funk.  i was hoping this was going to finally be a good > Xmas…

  The Joy/okay2bwild Christmas will be a great one this year.  If you keep off the smokes, you will feel great!!  Not just your lungs, but mainly your self confidence and your pride.  If you can do this, you can do anything.  What a great attitude to reward yourself with this holiday, no? Keep off the smokes, Joy – remember, we are all pulling for you!! -Joe D.  off the smokes since 03 Oct 2001

  Response:

  We are here for you.. Worse case scenario I would say grab the gum.  But as it has been said many times, if you quit cold turkey you shorten the length of time for withdrawl symptoms.  It is not any easier though. Congrats on thedays I have chosen not to smoke for 1 Week 4 Days 22 Hours 27 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 166. Money saved: $29.20. Alexa Linn

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. > -Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping.  Last night > somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris.  I think I’m losing my > mind. > -Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another patch on.  I > must have *really* sensitive skin because yesterdays tore skin off when I > took it off.  I have 4 red, raised welts where my patches were on my body. > (More than you needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey. Great. > -Holiday Season/Kid’s Birthday Party/Kid’s Xmas party at school. I was 8 > minutes (!) late for the Xmas party meeting at his school and got dirty > looks from the idiots that were on time.  mind thought: ***Go FUCK > yerselves.  I’m here Now.  Consider yerself goddamned honored to get on my > morning adgenda. Couldn’t get a comb through your hair this morning, huh? > Lovely look. really.*** > crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working out well for > me today.  i’m worried about my past depression problems.  i really hope i > don’t lapse into a funk.  i was hoping this was going to finally be a good > Xmas… > Joy > sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it > to DAY 6

  Response:

  Hang on, ok2bwild….it’s a crazy ride for a while, but it’ll get easier. We’ve all been right where you are at right now.  We can feel every bit of it right along with you…but you know it’ll get better.  It might be rough for a while, but you’ll get thru it…ride it out.  You know we’re here for you, girl. Sally 2M3W+ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge.

  Response:

  >Joy >sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it >to DAY 6

  Like your attitude Joy…  Hey, it could be the adhesive in the patch.  The same thing happens to me whenever I get an IV taped into place.  If the patch is giving you problems, look into another form of NRT.  As far as the depression is concerned, talk to your Doc about Welbutrin or some form of anti-depressant.  I did both Zyban and the inhalers and have been smober for One month, four days, 10 hours, 55 minutes and 37 seconds. 964 cigarettes not smoked, saving $173.65. Life saved: 3 days, 8 hours, 20 minutes. I also have not used an inhaler for approx 2 weeks Bram

  Response:

  Hey Georgie, I though it was just me. Bram – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Hey, slow down!!! >Geeze! Who are you- Wonder Woman? You quit smoking *and* expect to >have agood Xmas……one thing at a time. Both of those things have >been on my *impossible* list for years- I have managed one this >year. The hell with how my Xmas turns out. Quitting is the best >thing I’ve done this year, thats my present to myself and what I >will be celebrating > Joy > sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but > gonna make it to DAY 6 >Good on you Joy! >It will become easier….just give it time >– >Georgie. >Quit: 1m 1w 1d 13:19. 1,560 cigs not smoked,  $304.20 saved. >~f3as3~

  Response:

  Hell no Amber it doesn’t get easier the next time.  Hell its pretty damned scary because you now KNOW what it feels like to go one on one with the nicodemon. LOL!! Bram One month, four days, 10 hours, 58 minutes and 28 seconds. 964 cigarettes not smoked, saving $173.66. Life saved: 3 days, 8 hours, 20 minutes. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Quitting smoking is not easy.  But will it be easier to quit next time? >Hell no.  My mantra: "if not now then when."  Keep up the good work Joy. >Remember that it does get easier; I promise.  Not to say I don’t think about >smoking, but I don’t really want a cig.  You’re doing good with the ODAT >attitude.

  Response:

  Hang in there Joy!!!! This is tough but you will get there and its so worth it! Breathe deep, reaaal deep when you start to get freaked out, I did a lot of that during week one and it helped calm me down, hell more than one person thought I was into some new kind of religion! Ditch the patches if they are messing with your skin, try something else, dont give up everyone is pulling for you! StevenG Three weeks, six days, 9 hours, 33 minutes and 34 seconds. 547 cigarettes not smoked, saving $143.84. Life saved: 1 day, 21 hours, 35 minutes. almost a month!!!! Follow me to the prize!

  Response:

  Hey, Wild Woman?  Don’t freak out about the terrible shit that happens in the day-to-day life of an addict shunning their addiction.  You have come a long, long way with this.  Five whole days, and sounds like you ARE determined to make it past this one.  So, take some really, REALLY deep, cleansing breaths and try to chill a bit.  I know it isn’t easy.  Withdrawal from drugs never is and is never expected to be, right?  We’ve just been deluding ourselves all these years that "we enjoy smoking" when that is not the truth at all.  We are addicts.  Not only are we addicts, but we are addicted to a drug that is said to be harder to get off of than Heroin.  So, we are EXCEPTIONAL people because we ARE beating our addictions! Now, on the sensible side, get some Nicorette gum.  Don’t try the cold turkey thing yet, if you are not one of those anti-NRT ppl.  (I have no problem with ppl that are cold turkey quitters at all, but it’s just way harder to do than most of us care to manage.)  The gum is good.  I mean, good as in instant fix, whereas teh patches are slowly and steadily delivering the nicotine but not a quick fix.  I have found during this quit (the only one where I have not used patches) that I have been giving myself much less nicotine than I was getting with the patches.  And I am free to pop that gum in my mouth anytime I choose.  I AM on Wellbutrin, so my insurance pays for it, but it is an antidepressant as well as the same as Zyban, so if you are beginning to feel depressed (perfectly normal for nicotine withdrawal) you may very well be able to get a script from your doctor, too. Hang in there, Joy.  You can do it!  WE can do it!  We just need to all hang in there together. *Hugs* BinnieBee One month, one week, four days, 21 hours, 37 minutes and 19 seconds. 1257 cigarettes not smoked, saving $206.78. Life saved: 4 days, 8 hours, 45 minutes.

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. > -Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping.  Last night > somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris.  I think I’m losing my > mind. > -Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another patch on.  I > must have *really* sensitive skin because yesterdays tore skin off when I > took it off.  I have 4 red, raised welts where my patches were on my body. > (More than you needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey. Great. > -Holiday Season/Kid’s Birthday Party/Kid’s Xmas party at school. I was 8 > minutes (!) late for the Xmas party meeting at his school and got dirty > looks from the idiots that were on time.  mind thought: ***Go FUCK > yerselves.  I’m here Now.  Consider yerself goddamned honored to get on my > morning adgenda. Couldn’t get a comb through your hair this morning, huh? > Lovely look. really.*** > crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working out well for > me today.  i’m worried about my past depression problems.  i really hope i > don’t lapse into a funk.  i was hoping this was going to finally be a good > Xmas… > Joy > sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it > to DAY 6

  Response:

  >Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. >-Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping.  Last night >somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris.  I think I’m losing my >mind.

  Are you using a 24 hour patch? If so you might consider using a 14 hour patch instead. A lot of people have found that sleeping with a patch does produce vivid dreams. >-Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another patch on.  I >must have *really* sensitive skin because yesterdays tore skin off when I >took it off.  I have 4 red, raised welts where my patches were on my body. >(More than you needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey.  Great.

  The patch always gave me a light rash but not to the extent you describe. Have you considered a different brand or a lower nicotine content? I tried a few brands before I found one that I was comfortable with. >crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working out well for >me today.  i’m worried about my past depression problems.  i really hope i >don’t lapse into a funk.  i was hoping this was going to finally be a good >Xmas…

  Go and see your doctor if depression becomes a problem. There are treatments such as Zyban/Wellbutrin which will not only help the depression but have the side effect of reducing craving. You might even find your doctor is able to prescribe these to you so you can save on the cost. To help cope with cravings take a look at http://www.cognitivequitting.com/ which has some interesting articles about coping strategies and taking control. 5 days is NOT a trivial achievement especially when you’re balancing the recovery with being a parent. Stick with it, it is worth the pain and every day will take you closer to being free from cigarettes for life. No smoking! Dave

  Response:

  > Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge.

  Joy, sorry you are having such a rough time.  The insomnia and dreams will get better, and so will the cravings.   The other mom’s at the school meetings may not get any better, lol, but you   will get better able to tolerate them.   You were right to drop the patches if you are that allergic to them.  They make great red shiny hot welts on me too.  If you need something to help you along, get some nicotine gum. Hold on, and keep reading and posting here.   Alpha

  Response:

  > Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. > -Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping. >  Last night somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris. > I think I’m losing my mind.

  Were you using patches at night?? Many of us had the disturbed sleep/weird dreams with patches at night. > -Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another > patch on.  I must have *really* sensitive skin because > yesterdays tore skin off when I took it off.  I have 4 red, > raised welts where my patches were on my body. (More than you > needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey.  Great.

  Don’t risk a slip Joy! Perhaps a small pack of gum to see you through emergencies? Keep those patches- it may be the length of time you wear them that irritates the skin- they may be okay for a few hours when you are having a *bad* day. Btw, are they perhaps too strong a dose?? > -Holiday Season/Kid’s Birthday Party/Kid’s Xmas party at > school. I was 8 minutes (!) late for the Xmas party meeting at > his school and got dirty looks from the idiots that were on > time.  mind thought: ***Go FUCK yerselves.  I’m here Now. > Consider yerself goddamned honored to get on my morning > adgenda. Couldn’t get a comb through your hair this morning, > huh? Lovely look. really.***

  Hey, you didn’t give ‘em the finger did you- so congratulations on the remarkable self-control > crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working > out well for me today.

  You’re posting here aren’t you??? Well there you go, you don’t have to cry in the corner, we all have two shoulder’s each that you are more than welcome to cry on Joy > i’m worried about my past depression > problems.  i really hope i don’t lapse into a funk.

  As you know, the quickest way to bring on a full blown espisode of depression is to worry about having a full blown episode of depression.  >i was > hoping this was going to finally be a good Xmas…

  Hey, slow down!!! Geeze! Who are you- Wonder Woman? You quit smoking *and* expect to have agood Xmas……one thing at a time. Both of those things have been on my *impossible* list for years- I have managed one this year. The hell with how my Xmas turns out. Quitting is the best thing I’ve done this year, thats my present to myself and what I will be celebrating > Joy > sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but > gonna make it to DAY 6

  Good on you Joy! It will become easier….just give it time — Georgie. Quit: 1m 1w 1d 13:19. 1,560 cigs not smoked,  $304.20 saved. ~f3as3~

  Response:

  Hello Joy, I’ve been there recently enough to relate to a lot of this. >Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. >-Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping.  Last night >somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris.  I think I’m losing my >mind.

  This whole "losing the mind" business brought back what the last few days have been like with a heavy thump.  I have been talking to myself, been utterly unable to concentrate, and dealing with fellow workers as if we were of a different species altogether (like I’d spouted antennae or turned green, and just wondered how they had not noticed). The dreams were wacked out and intense.  Plus I went a few days of sleeping only a couple of hours … so the dream world was never that far away.  Insomnia really can make you lose your mind, but not as quickly as we might suspect … that’s withdrawals making us feel so unreal. >-Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another patch on.  I >must have *really* sensitive skin because yesterdays tore skin off when I >took it off.  I have 4 red, raised welts where my patches were on my body. >(More than you needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey.  Great.

  Good stuff !  My patch fell off after a couple of days and I didn’t bother replacing it.  So yours and mine first few days went without smoking, and then onto no nicoteen either.   Keep it up. >-Holiday Season/Kid’s Birthday Party/Kid’s Xmas party at school. I was 8 >minutes (!) late for the Xmas party meeting at his school and got dirty >looks from the idiots that were on time.  mind thought: ***Go FUCK >yerselves.  I’m here Now.  Consider yerself goddamned honored to get on my >morning adgenda. Couldn’t get a comb through your hair this morning, huh? >Lovely look. really.*** >crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working out well for >me today.  i’m worried about my past depression problems.  i really hope i >don’t lapse into a funk.  i was hoping this was going to finally be a good >Xmas… >Joy >sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it >to DAY 6

  It is tough – right ?  I know we were under no illusions, but by God these things are difficult to get rid of.  I’ve had a couple of rows and had to go back and blame it on tobacco.  People understand, they have seen it in others even if they’ve never smoked.  This stuff is a wicked ordeal, but we _are_ getting there.  Crickey, there’s no better reason not to have to go through it again. Remember, George is  giving us strength. ~Ian. 1 Week, 3 Days, 16 Hours.

  Response:

  Whaddaya mean barely holding on? You’re not smoking right? That’s and INCREDIBLE accomplishment. Think back to all those times when you agonized "oh I wish I could stop smoking whah whah whah" and look at you now! You haven’t had a single puff for over 5 days! WOW! All the rest of the stuff is just crap that goes along with your body giving up it’s deadly processing of those toxic chemicals. Sure.. it happens to everyone – ride it out. IT GETS MUCH BETTER Trust me. You’re doing GREAT baby!!!! Cheers! John – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. >-Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping.  Last night >somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris.  I think I’m losing my >mind. >-Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another patch on.  I >must have *really* sensitive skin because yesterdays tore skin off when I >took it off.  I have 4 red, raised welts where my patches were on my body. >(More than you needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey.  Great. >-Holiday Season/Kid’s Birthday Party/Kid’s Xmas party at school. I was 8 >minutes (!) late for the Xmas party meeting at his school and got dirty >looks from the idiots that were on time.  mind thought: ***Go FUCK >yerselves.  I’m here Now.  Consider yerself goddamned honored to get on my >morning adgenda. Couldn’t get a comb through your hair this morning, huh? >Lovely look. really.*** >crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working out well for >me today.  i’m worried about my past depression problems.  i really hope i >don’t lapse into a funk.  i was hoping this was going to finally be a good >Xmas… >Joy >sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it >to DAY 6

  Response:

  > Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge.

  Hang in there. You can do this. Some days are a lot harder than others, but you can make it through any ONE day. You owe it to yourself to stay living smokefree. peace, mark

  Response:

  Oh Joy.  I am at least so glad that you KNOW you ARE going to make it to day six.  That’s the important thing.  But, maybe you should consider trying nic gum or something to help you with the cravings.  I don’t know what works best.  Maybe cold turkey.  I’m on zyban and I think it’s totally different altogether. Quitting smoking is not easy.  But will it be easier to quit next time? Hell no.  My mantra: "if not now then when."  Keep up the good work Joy. Remember that it does get easier; I promise.  Not to say I don’t think about smoking, but I don’t really want a cig.  You’re doing good with the ODAT attitude. Remember that you must get a permission slip with 6 AS3 member signatures before you can have a smoke.  Keep posting.  Hang in there. Amber I’ve been a recovered smoker for three weeks, three days, 21 hours, 7 minutes and 28 seconds. 497 cigarettes not smoked, saving $49.76. Life saved: 1 day, 17 hours, 25 minutes.

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. > -Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping.  Last night > somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris.  I think I’m losing my > mind. > -Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another patch on.  I > must have *really* sensitive skin because yesterdays tore skin off when I > took it off.  I have 4 red, raised welts where my patches were on my body. > (More than you needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey. Great. > -Holiday Season/Kid’s Birthday Party/Kid’s Xmas party at school. I was 8 > minutes (!) late for the Xmas party meeting at his school and got dirty > looks from the idiots that were on time.  mind thought: ***Go FUCK > yerselves.  I’m here Now.  Consider yerself goddamned honored to get on my > morning adgenda. Couldn’t get a comb through your hair this morning, huh? > Lovely look. really.*** > crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working out well for > me today.  i’m worried about my past depression problems.  i really hope i > don’t lapse into a funk.  i was hoping this was going to finally be a good > Xmas… > Joy > sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it > to DAY 6

  Response:

  Joy, Hang in there! It sounds like you are having a really tough time, but don’t give in to temptation. If the patches are ripping your skin off, get rid of ‘em. Get some nicorette or something! If you DO go Cold Turkey, remember this: The Nicotine Addiction is over in 3 days. 72 hours. It’s gone. You can do ANYTHING for 3 days, right? Drink a LOT of water, and help it get out of your system, but DON’T give in to the cravings! If you ARE losing your mind, it’s ok2bcrazy, too.  ;-) Seriously, I feel for you. I know this is hard right now, but please, please, please don’t give up when it gets hard. No matter how fragged you feel, it WILL get better, and soon. Don’t stop reading, and Don’t stop Posting! And most importantly, Don’t Smoke….whatever you do….DO NOT SMOKE. Christmas is still a couple of weeks away, and if you tough it out for a few more days, you’re going to be fine. You WILL have a smoke free Christmas. Think how much your Family is going to LOVE that! We’re here for you! Your sweet-smelling quit buddy, Ziggy Visit the AS3 Weedkillers Website at http://www.as3weedkillers.com No smokey, sootey crap in my lungs for 1 week, 4 days, 9 hours, 53 minutes and 39 seconds. That means  342 shit sticks [(c)2001, Georgie Girl] not smoked. I’ve got $53.06 that I wouldn’t have if I kept killing myself, And I’ll live 1 day, 4 hours, 30 minutes longer to enjoy it! ICQ# 131968103

  – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. > -Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping.  Last night > somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris.  I think I’m losing my > mind. > -Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another patch on.  I > must have *really* sensitive skin because yesterdays tore skin off when I > took it off.  I have 4 red, raised welts where my patches were on my body. > (More than you needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey. Great. > -Holiday Season/Kid’s Birthday Party/Kid’s Xmas party at school. I was 8 > minutes (!) late for the Xmas party meeting at his school and got dirty > looks from the idiots that were on time.  mind thought: ***Go FUCK > yerselves.  I’m here Now.  Consider yerself goddamned honored to get on my > morning adgenda. Couldn’t get a comb through your hair this morning, huh? > Lovely look. really.*** > crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working out well for > me today.  i’m worried about my past depression problems.  i really hope i > don’t lapse into a funk.  i was hoping this was going to finally be a good > Xmas… > Joy > sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it > to DAY 6

  Response:

  Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge. -Insomnia for the last 3 nights.  Wacko dreams aren’t helping.  Last night somebody dragged me through the streets of Paris.  I think I’m losing my mind. -Patch problems. I honestly can’t bring myself to put another patch on.  I must have *really* sensitive skin because yesterdays tore skin off when I took it off.  I have 4 red, raised welts where my patches were on my body. (More than you needed to know, I’m sure.)  So, now I’m cold turkey.  Great. -Holiday Season/Kid’s Birthday Party/Kid’s Xmas party at school. I was 8 minutes (!) late for the Xmas party meeting at his school and got dirty looks from the idiots that were on time.  mind thought: ***Go FUCK yerselves.  I’m here Now.  Consider yerself goddamned honored to get on my morning adgenda. Couldn’t get a comb through your hair this morning, huh? Lovely look. really.*** crying all day in a corner somewhere is the only thing working out well for me today.  i’m worried about my past depression problems.  i really hope i don’t lapse into a funk.  i was hoping this was going to finally be a good Xmas… Joy sleepless, skinless, and pissed off because i’m on DAY 5 but gonna make it to DAY 6

  Response:

  In alt.support.stop-smoking, on 13 Dec 2001, ok2bwild announced: > Day 5 is proving to be quite a challenge.

  Hang in there!  It will get better, and it *is* worth it!  Look back over your reasons for quitting, eat lots of hard lollies, drink lots of water, read and post here lots, take lots of deep breaths, keep that resolve, and most importantly – don’t smoke! Good luck, you can do it! Regards OgO — my Quitting smoking page: http://qjc.cjb.net/quit.html Quit Stats home page: http://qjc.cjb.net/quitstats.html  -=- Current version 0.9.4 – released 07/12/2001 -=- I left my Glasses in my email – you better take them out! wun – 3QOF+ – f3as3 – asdfg (ok, I made that last one up Since 1/01/01 at 10:31:05 AM, OgO has not smoked for: 11 months, 1 week, 5 days, 2 hours, 16 minutes and 8 seconds.  6,922 cigarettes not smoked, $1,938.40 saved, life saved 3W 3D 0:54:18.

  Response:

  No comments Depression Recovery
  
  
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